I can tell she’s frustrated with me. As far as I know, April is single and has been for a while. Maybe she’s not the best one to give me advice. But when she words it the way she did, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made a mistake. Is my fear of being like my mom causing me to pass up a great guy? I eat a pack of crackers and excuse myself to go and prepare for my next class. I can tell April’s still frustrated with me by the way she waves her hand.
As I’m walking back into my classroom, my phone dings. I’ve now saved his name in my phone as “the liar” and I notice that I have a text from him. I sit down at my desk and read it. I’m sorry for yesterday. I truly am. I know it’s no excuse but I was instantly attracted to you. I should have told you the truth, but I was honest when I told you I was afraid you wouldn’t have given me a chance. I know I need to earn your trust, but I would love if you would go out with me.
I almost text him back, telling him to forget my number. I have it typed in; all I have to do is hit send. But something stops me. Maybe it’s the way he had his hand on my lower back as we got onto the boat. Maybe it’s the way he made me feel when he helped me put on my life jacket, wanting me to be safe. Heck, maybe it’s the way there’s a pull in my lower belly any time I think about him. I delete the text I’m about to send and start over. Is your name really Neil?
He texts back instantly. Yes
Well, that’s something. At least he was honest about his name. I text him. What do you have in mind?
Are you available tonight?
I debate with myself for the longest time. I can tell he’s getting antsy because I can see the bubbles come up on my phone like he’s texting something. The bubbles disappear, come back and then go away again. I would love to know what he’s thinking.
I know if I don’t go out with him, I’m always going to wonder. I type my answer into him. Yes
I squeeze my phone a little tighter, still not believing that I’m actually going to do this. Darn, I hope I’m making the right decision. I watch the bubbles on my phone and finally his text comes through.
Can I pick you up at six? Or if you’d rather meet at a restaurant. Whichever you’re more comfortable with.
The fact that he gives me options puts me at ease a little. On the boat, I had already told him about the apartment building I lived in. I didn’t think anything about it at the time, but I did afterwards. Before I can talk myself out of it, I text him, You can pick me up. I send him my address and the apartment number.
The bell rings and I can hear the shuffling and noises from all the teenagers as they swarm the hall. My phone dings again. I can’t wait. See you at 6.
A smile fills my face but I try to contain it. I don’t want to get too excited about this. Who knows if anything will come of it, but I have to admit that I’ve never felt like this before any time I’ve ever been on a date. I usually date men my age that are safe and yes, I can even tell what to do. Neil’s not like that. He’s commanding, alpha like, and he has to be the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on. I don’t even know how I’m going to focus the rest of the day, knowing I’m going to see him later tonight.
By the next period, I’ve given up on being able to teach. I started the class well, but I couldn’t focus. So instead of sending them home with homework, I gave them the opportunity in class to do their work. Some of them took advantage of it and worked on their studies. Some of them talked and goofed off. Normally, I would have reined them in, but not today. I wasn’t going to get bent out of shape about it. I tuned them out while I thought about what I was going to wear tonight.
There’s still something on the edge of my mind, but I’m trying not to focus on it, chalking it up to the fact that maybe it’s because I’m not one to get so involved with a man. I’ve dated, but I’ve never really been into one like I am with Neil. I don’t want to be like my mother though. I don’t want to lose myself in a man. I’ve seen what it’s done to her and I’ve promised myself it’s not going to happen to me. Yes, Neil’s sexy, confident and like no man I’ve ever known before, but that’s no reason to lose all direction in my life. If I decide to have fun with him, that’s what it will be… fun. Nothing more.