Texas Big Man

A cry is torn from my lips, echoing off the walls, and I collapse onto Harlan. He holds me tight, fucking me wildly now as he races to his own orgasm, groaning into my ear. I feel him jerking inside me, and I watch as his abs flex and ripple as he comes. I’m grinning as Harlan rolls us together, pinning me to the bed with his body, cock still deep inside me.

“Morning,” he says.

“Morning.” I grin up at him. The way he’s looking at me, like I’m perfect, makes me feel things in my chest that I’m not ready for. Again I have the twinge of regret and anxiety for not telling him that I was a virgin before last night, but he looks so happy, and I don’t know how he’ll react. But I do have other questions for him. “You have me at an advantage,” I say.

“Oh?”

“You know about my family, but I don’t know about yours.”

His smile falters. “Honestly there’s not much to tell there. It’s not a happy story.”

“A story doesn’t have to be happy for me to know it,” I say.

He sighs, them gives me a closed-lip smile and kisses my forehead. “My parents got married way too young. High-school sweethearts. Everyone thought that they were meant to be together, and so they didn’t tell them not to be idiots at eighteen, and a year later I came along. But they weren’t ready to be parents. Things just…got worse I guess, I don’t remember most of it because I was so young.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “But they dropped me off with one of my aunts when I was about five and never looked back. I think they’re divorced now. I lived with my aunt until I was old enough to make my own way, and I’m grateful for her.”

“That’s awful,” I say. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

He’s not looking at me, and he pulls out and rolls away to look at the ceiling. “Told you it wasn’t fun. It’s what happens when you jump into things like marriage without thinking twice. Getting married doesn’t mean anything if you’re not committed to it. Most people have no business getting married. Personally I think it’s overrated.”

Cold shivers run down my spine, and I’m looking at the ceiling now too. I don’t have any regrets about sleeping with Harlan—or I didn’t. But I realize that I’d still been living in a dream of marriage and family, and that somehow, in the short time I’ve known him, that I’d attached Harlan to that dream. It seems stupid now that I think about it.

I barely know him. Have I made a huge mistake? This was fun. He was hot and sexy, but clearly not ready to settle down with someone like me. Why would I even think that he would want to spend forever with someone like me? He said multiple times that we’d be stuck here together for months. Maybe that was the only reason that he wanted me.

Sitting up, I push the blankets off. “The storm has passed,” I say. “Should we check to see how bad the damage is.”

“Mel,” Harlan says. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I don’t stay in the room long enough for him to figure out that I’m not okay. My mind is swirling as I pull on my clothes as quickly as possible and get down the stairs and out the door.

What did I do? I let myself get so caught up that I made a rash decision, and I don’t even know if it’s something that I’m regretting. Everything about last night and this morning was perfect until he told me that story. But it’s my own fucking fault. I was the one who let my heart dive in too deep without even realizing it.

My eyes flood with tears and I brush them away. Now isn’t the time to cry. Not over him. Not over this. I made my own decisions. Now I have to live with them.

I skid to a stop on the porch when I see a strange car in front of the house, and my jaw drops when Trevor steps out of the car. “What are you doing here?” I call before I run down the stairs and nearly tackle him in a hug.

“I have weather alerts for this place,” he says. “When I saw how bad the storm actually was, I wanted to come down and see any damage for myself.”

My brother pulls back to look at me, and his smile immediately turns to concern. He’s always been able to read me better than anyone else. “What’s wrong.”

I force a smile. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me. It’s Harlan isn’t he. You guys get into some kind of fight? I’ll talk to him, I swear. But I can’t fire him after we signed the deal.”