The Big Boss

11

Justine

“You fucked him, didn’t you,” Rose says with a grin when she opens the door. She takes one look at me, up and down, and cracks into a giant grin.

“I’ll never understand how you manage to do that,” I say, stepping around her into her apartment. Rose wants to make a cake for her friend’s birthday, so for the first time ever, she actually called me and asked me to drop off some special ingredients for said cake, which I’m happy to do.

But I should have known that it would have turned into this.

“Uh oh,” she says. “That doesn’t sound good. Don’t tell me you actually regret it.”

Placing the bag of ingredients on the counter, I sigh. “Yes and no.”

“Do I need to make tea?”

I glance at my phone. I’ve got plenty of time, and Rose is kind of the one that got me into this mess in the first place, so I could use her advice. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Sit down and tell me what happened.”

I do. I leave out the gory details of all the sex, but I give her a decent idea of what happened and exactly how mind-blowing it was. Followed by the revelation two days ago that he’s about to destroy the homes of a bunch of people just like her.

Keenan has been texting me, but I haven’t responded. I have no idea what I would even say. I’m furious and sad, and most of all, I wish that things were different. But they’re not. It’s not like I didn’t know something like this was a possibility. I was just hoping that it wouldn’t happen.

When I’ve finished utterly spilling my guts, the water is boiling and Rose is pouring the tea.

“But the sex was good?”

I laugh in spite of myself. “Yes, it was very good. Amazing, actually.”

“Well I’m glad you don’t regret that part of it.”

I shrug as she hands me the cup. “It doesn’t solve everything else.”

“Neither does running away,” Rose says.

I make a face. “How did I know that you were going to say that?”

“Because,” she sits down across from me, “that’s the secret to really good advice. It’s only ten percent telling someone something they don’t know, and ninety percent confirming the thing they already knew but don’t want to face.”

“God, I hate it when you’re right,” I mutter.

“You actually love it.”

I laugh into my cup. “But in all seriousness, Rose, what do I do? I can’t be someone who supports that kind of…monstrosity.”

“Have you talked to him about it? He’s at the very top of the chain. You’re on the ground with the people. It’s entirely possible he doesn’t know who lives in the building or what the demolition will do. And continuing to avoid him will only make you more anxious about it.”

I grit my teeth. She has a point, but at the same time I’m dreading that conversation. Because what if he does know? What if he fooled me into thinking that he was different and was exactly what I thought?

But Rose is once again right. Drawing it out to an impossible length will only make it harder. It if needs to end, better to have it over with quickly than worry about it, avoid it, and having to move on anyway.

“You’re right, of course, but it doesn’t make it easier.”

“Of course not, but life rarely is easy. And sometimes the harder the thing, the better the reward.”

My mood is all over the place when I leave Rose’s apartment. I feel lighter, but when I look at my phone and see a text from Lila asking if I’ve heard from the very good date again, or if I’m ghosting him, my mood plummets again. She asked me yesterday for more details and I was too sad to give her anyway, even though I would normally spill everything to my best friend.

Another text comes a few minutes later, this time asking if he’s ghosting me. I almost wish that were the case. I would expect that. I gave him what he wanted and then he could disappear. But no, he keeps messaging me. Telling me good morning and good night and occasionally that he’s thinking of me.

Every time I see one of his messages, my fingers twitch with the urge to message him back. I don’t answer Lila’s questions, instead telling her that I’ll talk to her later about everything. I’m heading to the office to get petition sheets to save the building. Morgan organized things quickly. It seems like there might be some wiggle room on the city council, and if we can gather enough signatures to prove that there’s a vested community interest, we can stop the project.

Or at least I hope that we can.

It’s hot today, and I’m already sweating, but it’s working to my advantage. People want to sign as quickly as possible so they can get to wherever they’re going. I’m getting a good number of signatures, which is nice. Canvassing can be a thankless job. People avoid making eye contact with you or cross the street so that they don’t have to talk to you. But since this is a quieter and more residential neighborhood, people have been a little friendlier and willing to sign to save a historic building and park.