I know what I have to do.
It’s still very early in the morning, and quickly, I put the pregnancy test in the trash. Then I carefully cover it with crumpled tissue paper so that it’s hidden beneath what looks like trash. I slip quietly back upstairs and into the master suite. Cameron hasn’t moved a muscle since I’ve been gone, and he’s heart-wrenchingly gorgeous as my eyes eat him up. His bronzed chest is smooth and sculpted, and a lock of black hair falls over his forehead. His mouth is firm yet relaxed in sleep, tempting me even now.
This is going to be painful, but I know what I have to do. I can’t stay. I can’t tell Cameron that I want to keep our child. He’ll be enraged, and will never agree. Quietly, I pack my humble duffel bag with only the things I brought, leaving all the skimpy lingerie behind. Then with quiet footsteps, I head to the door.
Before leaving, I pause to steal one last glance at the man who’s captured my heart, but will never let me capture his. He’s gorgeous, tempting, and everything I’ve ever wanted, but I know I can never have him. With one last glance, I blow him a gentle kiss before leaving the room and making it out of the house to return to the trailer park where Randy waits. It’s where I belong.
8
Cameron
* * *
Sleeping next to Jessalyn is strangely peaceful, and something I don’t usually do with the women I date. Yes, I claim their bodies and make them scream with pleasure, but I don’t generally sleep with them in the same bed afterwards because I was never going to be with them in the way they wanted to be with me. I’ve never felt pulled to a woman. I’ve never felt the need to feel her body next to mine like I do with Jess. Jessalyn’s curvy form feels right curled up beside mine, and these days, I don’t sleep well when she’s not with me.
I roll over in bed and groan while stretching. It’s Saturday, which means I have the day off work, and I planned on taking Jess to the lake on my boat. I can tell the sun is shining brightly by the way it’s lit the room and my arm reaches out to find Jess. Except she’s not here, and my arm hits the empty mattress.
My eyes fly open and I sit up in bed, but then force myself to take it easy. She must be downstairs. I felt her tossing and turning last night and eventually getting out of bed in the middle of the night. I hope she got a few hours of rest, at least. But knowing her generous spirit, she’s probably in the kitchen making breakfast and coffee. It’s a curse we’re so high up in the house that I can’t smell the freshly brewed grounds.
Then again, being with Jess has proven to be an odd eye opener for me. When Randy first proposed this deal to me, I could hardly believe my ears. Paying for a woman? I don’t think so. I don’t need to pay for sex, and I wasn’t planning to start.
But Randy made his daughter sound different. He said she was something special, and he was right about that. Jessalyn is curvy, sweet, sassy and breathtakingly intelligent. She calls me out on my shit, but in a way that makes me a better man. I certainly didn’t plan on falling in love with her. I had planned on making her life better, but I never thought that she’d do the same for me.
Then again, Jessalyn is lush and giving, warm and loving, exciting and challenging, and I find myself completely in awe of her. I’ve never had the chance to tell her, but I plan on doing it soon because she deserves to know. I might even do it this morning.
I slide out of the covers and pull a pair of grey sweatpants over my briefs. After a good stretch, I stroll out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen where Jess is probably puttering away. But when I round the corner, she’s not there. In fact, the kitchen is silent and still. There’s no breakfast on the counter, no coffee brewed, and there’s certainly no laughter or giggles coming from by the fridge.
This doesn’t surprise me though, because maybe she’s in the library, her favorite room of the house. Sometimes I can’t keep her out of there and I have to remember that when she lived with her father, she didn’t have access to books, period. Well, at least I’ve satisfied that craving in my little bookworm.
I walk the long hallway to the study where I see the glow of the lamp coming out of the open door. A small smile spreads on my lips. My sweet girl is getting an early read in.