Quarantine Pet - His Pet

“That doesn’t sound like you,” he laughed. “What happened to Miriam?”

Miriam had been my latest conquest. She was a ballerina with an absolutely stunning body. But she was a prude in bed, very unskilled. A kind woman, though. I broke it off with her rather than attempt to introduce my kinkier side. She definitely needed someone more vanilla that me.

“We called it off,” I explained as I plopped down in my chair. “She was wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think we’re right for each other.”

Kelton knew me pretty well by this point, so he just giggled and started on his spiel for the day. “The first draft of the contracts for the Cam Tech merger are on the network,” he explained, with a nod to my laptop. “Examine them at your leisure, sir.”

Since Davies and Son’s was merging with McKenzie Tech, I had been given a lot of smaller mergers to deal with. The tech giant was known for eating up the competition with a big appetite. Lots of people suggested the Kane McKenzie had a silver tongue and could talk anyone out of anything. I didn’t know. I had never really met the man in person, but he did provide me with plenty of work.

“What do they look like?” I asked. After shaking the mouse for the computer, I brought up my email.

My assistant shrugged. “Oh, you know. Two sides, each one greedier than the next,” Kelt laughed. “For some reason, Cam Tech wants to keep this tiny division that makes toothpaste.”

“Toothpaste? Cam Tech Toothpaste?”

“It’s actually a product called Minty-Minty. I think it’s out of Germany.”

“Get the fuck out,” I exclaimed. “I used Minty-Minty on my trip to Berlin!”

“Weird coinky of a dink,” Kelton acknowledged. “Was it any good?”

I shrugged. “It was toothpaste.”

He tilted his head to the side as he leaned on the corner of my desk. “You okay, slugger?”

“I don’t know,” I confessed while I ran a hand through my hair. I found myself tapping my foot on the ground. It was something I did when I felt conflicted, not a good tell for a lawyer. “Seems like everything to me is about as exciting as Minty-Minty. Miriam included.”

“Ouch.”

“No slam against her. She was lovely, but—”

“Ah, you’ll find someone else,” dismissed Kelton with a wave. “Two days from now, you’ll walk in here going on and on about some actress or model you’re dating. Then you’ll show me the pictures, and I will hate my life.”

“You’re a good family man, Kelton,” I said. “You don’t want this life. These women are exhausting in more ways than one. You got a good woman.”

“Ari’s great, I’m not complaining, but, well, it would be nice to see how the other half lives sometimes.”

I laughed. “Trust me, I’m bored as shit.”

“You just haven’t met the right girl,” he responded, tapping his pen on the desk.

“I’m skeptical, Kelton,” I confessed. “I don’t think there is a right girl for me. Maybe some people are destined to be alone. Maybe I’m just one of those people. One day, the maid will walk in and find me slumped over in the tub. And that’s it. Game over. No kids, no legacy. Just a hedonistic run through life that anyone barely noticed.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Jesus, Jack,” he gasped. “You see a shrink?”

“No.”

“Maybe consider it. Either that or I’m going to need one listening to you!”

It was all in good fun between Kelton and me, but the truth was, I was depressed. I was lonely and feeling more isolated by the day. Maybe I should just leave the firm and drive cross country. Do one of those things and find myself. Be a shame to throw away a good career. Maybe just a one-month sabbatical or something.

I spent the better part of the day looking over the merger contracts. It all seemed pretty standard save for a few outrageous requests I suspected were included specifically just to be removed during negotiations. I made notes and ordered some lunch around Noon — Kobe steak filets on a homemade bun with fine mustard that had been stone ground just for this sandwich. The taste was exquisite, and it costs close to a hundred dollars, but I only ate half. I just wasn’t in the mood. I gave Kelton the rest of my truffle fries. I had bought him the same lunch.

“Oh, my God,” he exclaimed. “How can you not finish this?”

I looked across my desk at him and slid my burger over. “Meh. Here, take the rest of mine.”

Finally, meeting time rolled around. My plan was to make my intros, chat up the other lawyers, and skate out before four. Maybe I could hit the gym, then go home and binge-watch something. As far as I was concerned, the contract negotiations for Cam Tech were pretty cut and dry.