“Th-thank you.”
“I didn’t do it for you.”
“Right, okay thanks.”
Dave scampered off to pay the price on his own head to live and drink another day. Possibly changed just a bit for the better.
“Who did you do it for?” I asked as Clementine pulled up to the curb.
“Me. Because it was right. Because I don’t want to hate people.”
I put an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her tight., Addie put her head on my shoulder.
“C’mon,” I said, guiding her to the car, “Let’s go get your son.”
Chapter Sixteen
Addie
It was like walking through molasses. I was going to see my baby again after nearly two months. It was longest we had ever spent apart since he was born. I had worried a bit that Dave might try to take off with him before we could get there before the social worker arrived. But he didn’t, finally comprehending the extent of the power held by Tobias. Something that was still being revealed to me, on astounding layer at a time.
My mind reeled imagining all the crap Dave was telling him in that time. Trying to poison his mind against me. I, of course, didn’t know if he had been doing that, but it made logical sense.
His original plan must have been to take Duncan for good, to make me either have to get back with him or pay child support. Even back when I only worked at the factory, I had a steadier job and more money than he did. Or maybe it was some kind of blackmail scheme. Get custody of Duncan and then make me pay to see him. Or maybe then, by the goodness of his heart, suggest to the court that I get visitation, but only after I had paid him to do so.
Either way, it had always been about money, and then when he found out about the show, it was about a whole lot of money. It was just like him to exploit others to try to get what he needed.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Dave was an ardent student of Objectivism. The copy of The Fountainhead he had been reading when we first met, sticking up out of the pocket of his tweed jacket like a name tag saying, ‘Hello, My name is DOUCHE,’ really should have been a red flag. Alas, I was too young and naive to read the signs. The spider thereby was able to capture me in his nefarious web of wit and charm.
Still, even with it all, I actually couldn’t hate him. Not on a basic, existential level. I never wanted to see him again and the thought of him made me sick. It was a revulsion that would later turn to amusement with the healing nature of time as well as the further tutelage by Tobias of his Absurdist ways. But I had meant what I said when I gave him the check. I didn’t want him to die, especially not the ways the O’Connells would have done it. They were infamous for their agonizingly creative methods of dispatch.
I couldn’t in good cognisance let anyone going through that. Not even him. In a strange way, knowing the full story had given me more understanding of Dave and his ways. It wasn’t quite sympathy, but at least I knew there was something resembling a good reason behind his actions. Self-preservation in the face of imminent death was something I thought everyone could understand. I didn’t condone any of the things he did, but I understood why he did them. He wasn’t a psychopath just getting his jollies.
He was an arguably normal, if selfish, guy trying not to be horribly murdered and doing many bad things in the process. I only hoped with the spectre of death lifted from his shoulders he might be able to be halfway decent again. I had loved him once. I couldn’t anymore, but part of me still wanted good things for him.
“Ready?” Tobias asked.
“Not really, but it doesn’t matter.”
He kissed me sweetly on the cheek in a way that made me smile and opened the door to the library.
“Mommy!”
In an instant, my big, brave 12-year-old who usually squirmed when I tried to hug him in public, was wrapped around me like a baby koala. I rubbed his back and stroked his hair. The cynic in me wondered what terror Dave had committed to bring about such a reaction. My logical mind to it to shut the fuck up, Duncan just missed me.
“How have you been?” I asked, when Duncan finally released me.
“Lonely. I mean it was fun for a while. I had the house to myself a lot, but I didn’t like it much after a while. I wanted to see Dad more, but he didn’t want to do that. He was cool when he was there, but then he would go out. Sometimes all night.”