Insider (Exodus End 1)

filled with flowers and chocolates, stuffed animals and leather apparel. With the exception of the leather, it looked like Valentine’s Day had thrown up in the place. Apparently Reagan had a lot of admirers. She was sitting in her bra and panties on the arm of a sofa with her bare feet on the sofa cushion, tinkering with an electric guitar. She’d strum a few notes, pause, try a few other notes, nod, jot something down on her knee with a pen and go back to strumming.

Toni was just happy to have one of the members of the band to herself. Perhaps she could stage an informal interview. Logan didn’t count. When she was alone with him, the last thing on her mind was asking questions of a nonsexual sort. Technically, Reagan was only a temporary part of the band, but that didn’t mean she didn’t deserve a chapter in the book.

Toni plucked a card from a bouquet of two dozen long-stemmed black roses. Toni had never seen black roses before. They were a bit macabre for her tastes. The card read, You’re a goddess. I love your guitar work. I hope I get to see you in person tonight. Your devoted fan and fed-up vocalist looking for a new guitarist for his band (hint, hint), Shade.

“Who’s Shade?” Toni asked.

Reagan looked up from the scribbles on her knee. “Huh?”

“These roses.” Toni pointed at them with the card and then realized she probably shouldn’t have read it without permission. “They’re from some vocalist named Shade.” Toni hurriedly stuck the bit of card stock back on the plastic card pick. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Reagan shrugged. “I have no idea who Shade is, so you aren’t prying.”

“Do you always have this many flowers in your dressing room?”

The guitarist glanced around as if noticing the flowers for the first time. “It gets more excessive with each tour date. I donate them to the local nursing homes and they distribute them. I think Claire catalogs the cards and sends thank-you notes where appropriate.”

“Claire?”

“One of Sam’s personal assistants. I’m pretty sure he has one for each band he manages.” She laughed. “I don’t know, I just play guitar. All that logistical bullshit is beyond my perception.”

Toni moved to sit on the opposite sofa arm and added her bare feet to the cushions. “Are you writing music there?”

Reagan glanced down at the ink spots on her knee. “Uh, yeah. Trey and Dare have been encouraging me to find my own sound. I haven’t found it yet, but I’m trying.”

“Are you dating Trey?”

Reagan’s head snapped up, and she stared at Toni suspiciously from beneath her long dirty-blond bangs.

“It’s none of my business,” Toni said. “Just so you know, I won’t include stuff like that in the book. I’m not paparazzi, so you can trust me. I’m not out to ruin lives. I was just curious.”

“I’ll tell you about Trey if you tell me what’s up between you and Logan,” she said.

Toni’s faced warmed. She wished she didn’t blush so easily. “Uh . . .”

“Did something happen last night that you want to share? The guys are all acting weird today. Logan, yeah, that’s to be expected, but even Dare is acting out of sorts. He has this overprotective thing he does, and I notice he’s been extending that in your direction.” Reagan pinned Toni with a pair of inquisitive blue-gray eyes. “Do you know Dare from before?”

Toni shook her head. “No. I think he knows about my, uh, my newfound maturity.”

“Huh?”

“Logan and I, well, we . . .”

“Fucked?” Reagan lifted her brows and nodded as if to say, obviously.

Toni’s face flamed ten degrees hotter. “Uh, yeah. We did. And I happened to be a, a virgin.” The last word was scarcely a whisper. How mortifying to tell someone like Reagan Elliot that she’d held on to her V-chip until she was twenty-five.

“That son of a bitch!” Reagan set her guitar down and stood on the sofa. “I’m going to kick him in the nuts.”

“No. I wanted to do it. He didn’t coerce me or anything.”

“You aren’t one of those crazy bitches who pokes holes in condoms to trap a rich man by getting pregnant, are you?” Reagan asked.

“What?” Toni felt like her eyes were popping out of her head. “Who would do something like that?”

And even if she wanted to—and she didn’t—she couldn’t get pregnant for months anyway. She’d just gotten her regular birth control shot a couple of weeks ago.

“You’d be surprised.” Reagan sat on the sofa arm again, looking slightly less irrational.

“I wanted to have sex with him because he wanted to have sex with me. And, well, he’s incredibly attractive. If I hadn’t been a virgin, no one would have thought twice about it.”

Reagan snorted. “Including him. You do know he’s a total player, right?”

Toni didn’t know. She didn’t know much about him that couldn’t be read on Wikipedia. “I guess.”

“He’s been acting odd too, though. I thought maybe he was still trying to get into your panties and that was why he was so attentive and distracted, but if he’s already been in them, maybe he likes you.”

Toni’s heart thudded in her chest. “Do you think so?”

Reagan’s eyebrows lifted. “I don’t want to get your hopes up too high, honey. I remember the guy who took my virginity. When he dumped me, I thought I’d die. Broke my heart into a million little pieces.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“That was years ago.” Reagan shrugged. “I got over him soon enough.”

Toni didn’t want to think about getting over Logan. She prayed it never came to that.

“So is he good in bed?” Reagan asked.

Toni paused. Should she tell Reagan the details? Did it go against some code of bedroom ethics she was unaware of?

“I think so,” Toni said hesitantly. “I don’t really have anything to compare to.”

“Does he make sure you come first?”

Toni’s face flamed and she nodded. “He did both times.”

“Then he’s ahead of most of the pack. Don’t let him get away with mediocrity just because he’s your first and he knows you’ve never had better. If you’re not sure about the girl side of things, you can ask me. I have plenty of experience.” Reagan laughed. “I probably shouldn’t be telling a journalist that.”

Toni bit her lip. She didn’t want Reagan to feel that she had to watch what she said around her. She’d really like a female friend to talk to about such things. The only person her own age that she hung around with was Julian, and he was a guy. A gay guy, true, but still a guy.

“Things like that won’t be in the book,” Toni promised. “It will mostly be about the music and hobbies and stuff like that.”

Reagan chuckled. “But sex is my hobby now that the guitar-playing hobby is my actual job.”

“So is Trey good in bed?” Toni did want to know the answer to the question, but she was mortified that she’d actually asked.

“The best,” Reagan said with a breathy sigh. “He’s a pleasure seeker who gives back more than he takes. What could possibly be better?”

“I’m not sure. I do like it when Logan gets so worked up by me that he can’t keep his hands to himself.”

“You definitely have the guy out of his head.”

“So is that why you think he might like me?”

Reagan stared at her for a long moment. Toni guessed she didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. There was no way in hell that Toni would ever mean more to Logan than a temporary plaything. She might as well face facts.

“He definitely lusts you,” Reagan finally said, and then she shook her head. “I’ve only known him for a short time, so I can’t be sure, but usually when he gets what he wants—”

“Sex?”

“Yeah. As soon as he gets laid, he’s no longer interested. But he seems to still be interested in you.” Reagan reached over and patted her knee.

“And how do I keep him interested?” She

’d never had a man interested in her before, so had no idea how to proceed.

Reagan laughed. “Whatever you’re currently doing seems to be working.”

“I asked him to teach me how to do sexual things. He seemed interested in that.” But she wasn’t sure that was all she wanted him to be interested in.

“Of course he’s interested in that.” Reagan set her guitar aside, laced her fingers together, and set her elbows on her knees, looking like she planned on sitting there talking to Toni for hours. “I miss talking to my girlfriends back home,” Reagan said. “I love the guys in the band, but they don’t talk about this kind of stuff with me.”

“It would probably give them perpetual boners.”

“Or embarrass them. Or gross them out. They think of me as their kid sister.”

Toni highly doubted that any man could think of Reagan as a kid sister. She had a natural sexiness that even a straight girl could appreciate.

“So how long have you been touring with Exodus End now?” Toni asked, ready to turn the subject to something she could actually write about in the band’s biography.

“Three-ish weeks.”

“How are you holding up? I never knew how exhausting this lifestyle could be. I haven’t even been following the band for twenty-four hours and I’m ready to keel over.”

“I’m having a great time,” Reagan said. “I love every minute of it. And we do these things in spurts. Usually two days of insanity, a day of travel, and a day to recuperate. Rinse and repeat. Sometimes we do two shows in the same stadium, two nights in a row. Sometimes we do two shows in adjacent cities, but we almost always do shows two nights in a row. Trey claims that we’re slackers—taking two days off for every two days on. His band usually tours constantly. If they’re not playing, they’re traveling. They don’t have as many public appearances as Exodus End does, though, so we have to make time for that stuff too.”

“The band seems to have accepted you as one of them quickly.”

Reagan nodded, her smile stretching from ear to ear. “I pinch myself every day. They’ve been amazing.”

A knock sounded on the door, the doorknob turned, and the door opened a crack. “Are you naked?” a deep voice called into the room. “Please say you’re naked.”

Reagan grinned. “Not yet, but I have company.”

Toni hopped off the sofa. “I’ll go.”

“Is it my favorite company?” Trey Mills said as he let himself into the room. He was already dressed to go onstage, and Toni couldn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat. “Oh,” he said. “Company I don’t recognize.”

“This is Toni. Remember I told you someone was writing a book about Exodus End?”

“And you’re chatting with her in your underwear?” Trey asked.

“If I was going to seduce her,” Reagan said, “she’d already be naked with her legs wrapped around my neck.”

Toni’s couldn’t bring herself to meet their eyes. Reagan had been joking about that, right? Toni had never considered doing anything sexual with another woman, but now she wondered how a woman’s touch differed from that of a man.

“I need to get to the meet and greet,” Toni said, rushing into the bathroom to collect her socks and boots. She sat on the toilet lid to put them on.

She could hear Trey’s deep voice and Reagan’s answering laugh. Were they laughing at her? Probably. She’d made a fool out of herself. Toni secured her hair back with a blue scrunchy that matched her blue blouse which matched one of her socks. Her other sock was gray and matched her long skirt. She looked like she should be shelving library books, not going to a metal band’s meet and greet. Perhaps she should’ve splurged on new clothes for this assignment. She might not stick out like a poodle in a pack of Rottweiler’s if she tried to fit in a little better. She glanced in the mirror and pushed her glasses up her nose. She hated wearing contact lenses, but maybe . . . She turned her head this way and that, making kissy faces at herself in the mirror. Maybe she wasn’t as plain as she thought. Maybe she was actually pretty. Maybe if she put on some makeup and sexier clothes, Logan would start thinking of her as more than a friend. More than a temporary sex partner.

And maybe she should worry about her job instead of what she looked like. She’d never really cared about such things before. And Logan seemed to be attracted to her regardless.

He’d been the one to show her to the women’s dressing room so she could take a shower. He’d even stolen a kiss before claiming he needed to catch a nap on the bus or he’d be worthless that night during the concert. She wondered if he was still sleeping. And how much he’d mind if she woke him.

A naughty idea forming in her head, she hurried out of the bathroom and found Trey kneeling on the floor between Reagan’s legs with a sucker stick protruding from between his lips. He had both hands wrapped around Reagan’s upper thigh and was asking her about the notes she had drawn on her leg.

“I’m going back to the bus,” Toni said when neither of them noticed that she’d entered the room.

“Okay,” Reagan said. “We can talk more later.”

“Thanks,” Toni said, feeling intrusive.

She slung the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder and left the room. The tour’s regular security guards now recognized her and let her pass without accosting her, but the stadium’s security stopped her several times as she made her way outside to the area where the buses were parked.

By the time Toni entered the bus, she’d almost convinced herself that she shouldn’t bother Logan. That he did need to sleep and he’d probably be mad at her for waking him. She was thinking that until she found that he was alone on the bus, unconscious in his bunk, wearing nothing but a tangled sheet. She took a moment—a long moment—to admire the smooth skin of his naked back, the tattoo inked on his shoulder, the bit of naked buttocks exposed above the edge of the sheet, the bend of one bare leg, the muscular arm half obscured by his pillow, and all that golden hair surrounding his peacefully sleeping face. He had a half smile on his strong lips. She wondered if he was dreaming about something nice. She could only hope that it was her.

She continued to admire him until nothing could have stopped her from climbing into that bunk next to him and molding her body to his hard-muscled form. He started awake with an inrush of breath through his nose and lifted his head to see who had climbed into bed with him. Toni doubted she was the first to force her attention on the man, and would probably not be the last, but the smile he gifted her pushed those thoughts aside.

“Is it time to get up?” he asked, rubbing one eye with a knuckle and yawning.

She shook her head.

“Good,” he murmured before tugging her against the wall of his chest. His hands slid down her back and grabbed her ass to pull her more securely against him.

She lifted a trembling hand to caress the warm skin along his side. She’d never really touched a man before. She wanted to experience all the differences between his body and hers with her hands and when she got up the nerve, with her lips.

“Can I touch you?” she asked.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” he said in a drowsy voice.

“Everywhere?” she clarified.

“Mmm,” he murmured. “I think I’m going to like this.”

“Will you tell me what feels good for you?”

“If you pay attention, it should be obvious.”

She smiled. Finally, something she excelled at. “I’m good at paying attention.”

He scowled. “I’m not. The only thing I’m good at is being a fuck-up.”

She rubbed his worried brow with her fingertips until his flesh relaxed beneath her touch. “You’re not a fuck-up, Logan. You’re . . .” Wonderful. She sighed internally, not wanting him to know how infatuated she was with him already. Or maybe her jumping into his bunk with him was a dead giveaway.

“Prove it. Name one thing I’ve done in the past twenty-four hours that wasn’t impulsively stupid.”

“Impulsive, yes, stupid, no. You’re a creature of instinct.”

“So now I’m a creature?”

“A man,” she corrected. “A sexy one who I can’t stop thinking about, even though I know I should be paying attention to my work.”

“I have the same annoying problem when it comes to you.”

“You don’t have to say things like that to get into my panties,” she said with a grin.

“But I do to make you smile.” He kissed her, and she melted against him. His lips moved to her jaw. “Besides,” he whispered, “it’s true. Why do you think I shoved both feet in my mouth at that