“There were some growing pains at first,” I said as I pulled more gauze and tape out of the bag. “I didn’t like Eli, and Lu and Josiah butt heads about anything and everything, down to what we eat for dinner. But eventually, things settled into a groove. We got to know each others’ strengths and weaknesses. Shit that bothered us in the beginning started to matter less as we got to know one another. Eventually, our team turned into one of the best—not only because we’re all good at what we do and trust each other, but because we know each other, good and bad, and we naturally pick up the slack if someone’s lacking—if that makes sense.”
She winced as I taped the bandage back on, but didn’t shy away.
“I shouldn’t have trusted anyone outside our circle. It was stupid. But between my team and your family, we have this handled,” I said, looking up into her face as she let her shirt drop back down to her waist. “I promise I won’t let anything else happen to you.”
Her hand came down to cup my cheek, and I sat still as her thumb slid over my cheek and down over the beard at my jaw.
“Why aren’t you talking?” I asked gently. “It’s just me and you in here. You can talk to me.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to answer me, then shut it again, her jaw flexing with frustration.
“Are you hurt?” I asked in confusion, looking down at her mouth.
Chapter 15
Cecilia
Was I hurt? Yes. My ribs throbbed every time I moved and the cut along my side stung and pulled. My cheek and jaw ached every time I made any expression. My mouth felt like raw hamburger from the inside of my cheeks being forced against my teeth. My stomach still churned from being hit, and even water made me nauseous.
I knew what he was asking, though. Was there a physical reason I wasn’t speaking?
No.
I just couldn’t make myself do it. I’d open my mouth to say something, to argue or agree, and I couldn’t. It was as if when I’d trapped all the sounds inside myself, I’d locked the door and lost the key. They were stuck inside my head and every time I tried to let them out, everything just shut down.
I couldn’t fix it no matter how hard I tried. Not even when they’d come up with the plan for Olive to travel separately from me. I hadn’t even been able to tell her goodbye, and that killed me.
“It’ll come back to ya,” Mark said, his hands smoothing over my hips. “Just give it a little time.”
I hoped he was right.
“Sounds like another car is pulling up,” he said. I was swinging open the bedroom door and flying through it before he’d even risen from the bed.
The front door was already open and my dad was standing in it. Beyond him, Forrest was climbing out of his SUV.
“All good?” my dad called, stepping out onto the porch.
“Yep,” Forrest called back.
I slid past my dad and hurried down the steps as Forrest lifted Olive from the box on the passenger seat.
“Here you go, mama,” he said, handing her to me. “I fed her that milk you pumped this morning, but it’s been a couple hours and she’s about ready again, I think. She’s a good road trip partner, slept most of the time and didn’t bitch once about my music.”
I barely heard him as I lifted Olive close to my face, running my cheek along hers. The weight and feel and smell of her comforted me in a way I couldn’t explain. Relief hit me so hard I found myself swallowing back a sob.
“Your music sucks, Forrest,” Lu said, coming up behind me. “Come on, hun. You guys better come back inside.”
I nodded and let her lead me back to the house.
“How’s she doing?” my mom asked as I sat down in the recliner. “She doesn’t look any worse for wear.”
Setting the baby down with her tush against my belly and her head near my knees, I unwrapped her. Forrest was a doctor, or at least had the training, and he knew how to take care of a newborn, but I still had an almost overwhelming urge to make sure everything was as it should be. I needed to be one hundred percent sure.
“All limbs, present and accounted for,” my mom joked. She squeezed my shoulder. “I know today was hard, sweetheart, but you did good.”
I nodded, still focused on Olive. Her little legs were bent at the knee against her belly and her ankles were crossed, and I didn’t know if I’d ever seen anything that was more wholesome or cute or made me feel more protective. God, she was so small, and she had no idea what was happening around her. Had she missed me while she was with Forrest? Had she panicked when she realized I wasn’t right there next to her? The thought of that made my chest hurt.