Craving Cecilia (The Aces' Sons 6)

Diapers and wipes were set down on the arm of the chair and I looked up in surprise.

“Forrest said she probably needs a change,” Mark said. He dropped down on his haunches and laid his hand gently on her chest. “I didn’t like having her away from us today,” he confessed. “Can’t imagine how it was for you.”

I couldn’t have even begun to explain how excruciating it had been for me. The irony was that when she was born, I’d been fully ready and willing to give her up. That had been the plan all along, and while the thought of it had hurt—it hadn’t felt overwhelming. She hadn’t been mine. But somewhere between her birth and sitting in that beach house in Northern California, things had completely shifted. I couldn’t imagine my world without her, I didn’t want to.

I changed her diaper and wrapped her back up, resting her against my chest as I leaned back in the chair. Finally, I could breathe again.

“We need to figure out something to eat,” my mom said as people trickled into the room, leaning against walls and sitting on every available surface. “And how we’re going to get home.”

“We will,” my dad replied.

“If I could make a suggestion?” Forrest drawled from his place on the couch.

“What’s up?” Mark asked.

“She needs to rest,” he replied, pointing at me. “I’ve been sayin’ it for days, and no one seems to be hearin’ me. Look at her. How much weight you think she’s dropped since we found her in that house?”

I frowned at him. It couldn’t be that much, all my clothes still fit the same. Besides, I’d just had a baby, of course I was going to start losing weight.

“A couple pounds a day,” Lu said quietly, looking at me. “At least.”

“Her appetite is gone, she’s barely sleepin’, we’re draggin’ her all over hell and back, and on top of that, she’s nursin’,” Forrest said. “It sounds like shit ain’t gonna slow down much once you’re home, either.”

“What are you suggesting?” my dad asked, his face expressionless. Oh, no. I knew that tone. It usually sent me and my siblings backpedalling before we ran for cover.

“I’m suggestin’ that we stay here for a bit. Let her rest, take a walk on the beach, bond with the baby, finish those fuckin’ antibiotics I brought her. We need to figure out our next steps, anyhow, and this place is as good as any. No one knows we’re here,” Forrest replied, obviously unfamiliar with The Tone.

“Problem,” Eli said, dryly. “Where are we supposed to sleep?”

Lu laughed. “Man, I’ve seen you sleep in a damn culvert,” she said jokingly. “I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Couple of sleepin’ bags, and we’re fine,” Forrest said, shooting Eli a look.

“Well, I’ve got a bad back,” my brother said with a sigh, his eyes dancing.

“Boy, you think you’re takin’ the couch or the bed, you’ve lost your damn mind,” my dad said, raising his eyebrows as he gave my brother a good-natured shove.

Forrest dug his hand down in the couch cushions. “Good news,” he said, grinning. “It’s a pull-out.”

“Dibs,” my mom said quickly.

“Probably a good idea,” my dad said, meeting my mom’s eyes. “Give the family some time to get past the shit they’re dealin’ with before we bring more to their doorstep.”

“Sounds good, baby,” she said softly.

I leaned my head down so I could rest my cheek against Olive’s head, my lips tipping up in the corners. I didn’t know what it was about old Poet’s beach house, but it was like all of us were breathing a sigh of relief. I’d felt safe in the Sacramento clubhouse. Surrounded by people who were willing and able to put themselves between me and danger had been so comforting… until it wasn’t. But when we were there, we’d all been anxious to get moving, to get north and find Rose. Now that she was safe and we were getting good news from my uncle and aunt, that pressure was gone.

Here, it was like we were hidden at the end of the world where no one could find us.

Olive began to fuss so I carried her into the bedroom and sat down on the bed to nurse her. At some point, I knew I’d be able to nurse her in company without a second thought, but it still felt like we were figuring it all out, and I didn’t really feel like flashing my dad for a solid five minutes while she tried to navigate my nipple and determine exactly what she was supposed to do with it.

When she was finally latched on, I leaned back against the headboard and sighed, listening to everyone discuss logistics in the living room. I probably should have been out there and part of the conversation, but honestly? I could barely even follow it. I was so worn out, any attempt to help would probably be useless.