Bruce leans down, putting his face in mine. “What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?”
If he did that to anyone else, they’d melt under the sheer weight of his demand to speak. That I can withstand it gives me a twisted delight at how far I’ve come.
Or maybe it’s a sign of how much you trust him.
Well, shit. That’s true too, and probably the larger contributing factor that lets me hold my position without giving Bruce an inch.
“I knew you were always in a hurry to get off the phone with me, didn’t want to hear about my classes or what was going on with me. I knew . . .” I pause, taking a fortifying breath as I delve into the most painful betrayal of my young life. “About the parties after the football games, about walking Naomi Wilcox to classes and carrying her books, about giving her rides home. I knew you were cheating on me.”
His eyes are wide as saucers and dark as ink, but pure fury radiates off him. “Are you fuckin’ serious right now, Allyson? Is that what you think? Who filled your head with all that shit?”
So many questions, but I’ve got some of my own. As mad as he is, as scared as I should be by that, this conversation has been a long time coming and I’m not backing down. I shouldn’t have given up so easily back then, should’ve told him off and gotten it all of my chest no matter how hard it was. But I’d been young and hurt, inexperienced with how to talk about my feelings. Now, I think finally getting all this out in the open might even be therapeutic. Finally, a closure to a chapter that defined me.
“How could you? Nikki and Naomi were thick as thieves, and when Nikki called me and told me what was happening, I couldn’t believe it. But she knew. You even talked about Naomi once, something about a test coming up and you both studying hard. Do you know how much that hurt me? You talked about your side bitch with me like it was nothing. Like I was nothing.”
The anger is giving way to sadness, the tears coming fast and hard. I let them run down my cheeks, not bothering to even wipe them away. I’m not one of those pretty girl criers either. Nope, I can feel my eyes puffing up, my nose getting snotty, and my face turning red.
“Holy fuck, Al.” Bruce curses and yanks his bandana from the bag at his feet. Guess there’s no place in his workout shorts for one, I think randomly. He scrubs at my cheeks, and for some unknown reason, I let him take care of me even though he’s the one who destroyed me so long ago and this is an echo reaction to those old hurts.
“Are you talking about Nikki Rigston?” I snort and nod. “If she weren’t already dead, may she rest in peace, I’d kill her myself.”
I look up from beneath the bandana, where I’ve taken over wiping my own face. “What? Nikki’s dead?”
Bruce sighs and looks at the sky like he could rip a hole in it, rummage around to find Nikki, and then yell at her good and loud. “Car accident, years ago.”
I silently say a prayer for the girl who saved me from being a fool, nothing more than small-town gossip fodder.
“Let’s sit down so I can get this straight.” Bruce has his hands on his hips, preparing for battle, but I think I need this, so I sit willingly. He follows me to the ground, stretching out beside me with his arms resting on his bent knees. I cross my legs and mindlessly play with the grass beneath my fingers.
“So, back then, Nikki called you and told you I was hanging out with Naomi? She told you I was cheating on you? And you believed her? Is that what you’re telling me?” he grits out like even the words pain him. But he’s the one who did it. He had to know I would eventually find out.
“She told me everything. Or well, at least as much as I wanted to hear. I didn’t want to believe her, even told her that she had to be mistaken and that there was a good explanation. But then I started thinking about it, and I knew. I knew that as soon as I was gone and you were the big man on campus, girls were going to be all over you. It was inevitable. We were just kids.” All the things I’ve told myself over the years, especially back then, come out of my mouth robotically.
“That fucking bitch,” he spits out, not giving me any clues about who he’s talking about. Nikki? Naomi? I’m ninety-nine percent sure he doesn’t mean me, but my brows drift up anyway. “Nikki knew that Naomi was tutoring me. Yeah, Naomi had a crush on me, but I shut that shit down fast. We never dated, never did anything other than talk. But I needed a tutor because I was going to do anything to get into State. To be with you.”