Allyson looks up at me, stricken. “I . . . I didn’t get these. Any of these. And I jumped to conclusions. I thought . . . I thought you abandoned me. I mean, abandoned us,” she corrects. She takes a shuddering breath, her blue eyes meeting mine like she’s staring down the executioner’s firing squad. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I say honestly. I don’t know what happened to the messages because they show as sent on my end, but I believe her that she didn’t get them. Technological Karma fucking me over, I guess. “Was it that bad?”
She laughs all the way down to her toes, but it seems to be covering horror. “Oh, my God, it was awful! There was back-talk and freak-outs and cardio punishments . . . and that was just me! The boys didn’t do so hot either.” She’s shaking her head, and I can tell she’s replaying her morning over in her mind. “At first, I was furious. Then I got scared that something had actually happened to you. I drove out here looking in every ditch for that truck of yours, terrified I was going to find it. And then you’re just goofing off with goats! I might’ve overreacted a smidgen.” She holds her finger and thumb up an inch apart.
I raise a brow and spread her fingers apart several more inches. “More like that size overreaction.”
“Hmm, my memory must be going because I could’ve sworn it was bigger than that.” Her eyes go wide and her hands slap over her mouth as she shakes her head. She says something, but it’s muffled by her palms and I can’t make it out.
I push her hands down, chuckling as her joke hits me. “What was that?”
“I didn’t mean to say that! It just came out. I didn’t mean that I was thinking about . . . well, you know . . . or back then . . . or now.” She’s stammering, cheeks flushing, which makes her freckles stand out in stark relief. She looks down like she can’t meet my eyes, but I see her quick check of my midsection and can’t help but tease her.
“It’s all right, baby. You can tell me that you were thinking about my cock. We already discussed that you need dicking. You know I’m the man for the job.” I’m flirting again, stepping through a minefield with no map and no clue where the IEDs are hidden. Last time didn’t go so well, so I should be extra cautious this time. Careful ain’t exactly my strong suit, though. I’m more a blow shit to smithereens and deal with the aftermath type.
So I step closer, invading her space. My throat goes tight at the thought of getting between her pretty thighs again. We might have all kinds of issues, past and present, but sex wasn’t ever one of them. “Say the word, Al, and I’ll take you in that barn right there. You know there’s a spot up in the hayloft. We’ve been there before.”
I pause, letting the memories wash through us both. Her laid out on a blanket on a backdrop of spun-gold hay. My jeans shoved down around my thighs and her shorts still hooked on one ankle because we were trying to hurry. Swallowing our moans of pleasure with kisses so we wouldn’t get caught by my brothers or parents.
She bites her lip, desire written all over her face and her chest rising and falling rapidly. But I can see the doubt, the questions, the uncertainty. I don’t want to take her like that. I want her sure when I slip into her heaven again. I want her begging for my cock. I want her crying out my name as she comes apart all over me.
And there’s so much I don’t know. She’s leaving tiny breadcrumbs of hints at what her life has been like, and I’m gathering each and every one of them up like a fucking pigeon, wanting to figure out who she’s become. I don’t want to mess that up by going too fast, because she’s a runner now and she’ll bail on me sure as the sun’s gonna rise tomorrow. It’ll have to be a dance of my take-no-prisoners style tempered to meet her skittish-colt tendencies. I try to marry the Valkyrie who just came in screaming and giving me hell with the woman who quietly walked away the other day, and I just can’t. It doesn’t make any sense.
But I want it to.
So I’m going to figure this woman out, and I’m doing it proper. All fuckin’ in.
“Let’s go for a walk,” I say, grabbing her hand.
“What?” she exclaims, but she doesn’t pull away from me.
I take it as a win. Baby steps like Mama Louise advised, getting to know her again. I’m going to win her over, win her back. Because I should’ve never lost her in the first place.