Rough Love (Tannen Boys 1)

I’m getting this train back on track, right now.

We walk past the barn, and Shayanne holds up her thumb, letting us know that Cooper’s good. He doesn’t even notice us, wiggling his nose against Bacon Seed’s snout and smiling happily. I mean, Cooper is, not the pig. Though Bacon Seed would probably smile if she could. She’s a bit of a spoiled diva, thanks to Shay.

I lead Al further, past our personal garden and into the crops we grow to support the farm. Well, and the Bennett ranch now, since it’s all theirs. This feels both familiar and new, something we used to do all the time back in the day, but now it’s different.

“So did you really have a ‘goat soap emergency’?” I can hear the air quotes in her question.

I scratch at my lip, eyeing her from under my hat. “Is that what Shayanne said?” Allyson nods, still not believing it. I squeeze her hand in reassurance. “Well, yes and no. More like an emergency in the making . . .”

I explain how Sophie had gotten word about an entire herd needing what amounts to goat foster care because their owner went into the hospital unexpectedly. So the herd arrived in the middle of the night and we’d spent the better part of the early morning hours making sure the new herd and our existing animals got along without butting heads. Literally. And today, we had to milk twice as many nanny goats so it was all hands on teat.

It’d been back-breaking work, but it was the right thing to do . . . for the goats, for the poor owner, and even for Shayanne. The owner gladly told her she could keep the milk as bonus supply for her soaps. She’ll put it to good use with the upcoming busy holiday season.

“An actual goat emergency,” Allyson says with a laugh. “I never would’ve believed that.”

I laugh with her, and the last bits of today’s drama melt away, leaving just the two of us. Allyson smiles at me shyly. She breaks our eye lock first, looking down to our interwoven hands. I run my thumb along the soft skin of her hand.

“Come on, let me show you everything.”

We walk for what seems like hours. I show her the large fields, telling her about how we rotate the crops to keep the soil fresh, and the specialized fields, where we mostly grow things for Shay’s businesses and the farmer’s market. She listens to every word, raptly paying attention as if farming is an exciting topic.

Eventually, we end up in the orchard toward the back of the property. There are still peaches on lots of the trees, and as we walk beneath the green canopy, Allyson looks up.

“It’s beautiful, Bruce. All of it.”

She means it. Not everyone gets it, the farm life. Some people prefer the city, the hustle and bustle, sidewalks and neighbors, and a grocery store on every block. It’s different out here. We’re just as busy, but it’s in a unique way, sunup to sundown and repeat with each new day.

“I didn’t know if I could do this, you know?” I admit. “When we were kids, I wanted out. Not because I didn’t appreciate what my family had but because I was a stupid kid who thought I needed to conquer the world. But I was wrong. This is where I was always supposed to be. I love this land, even if it’s not ours anymore.”

“I’m sorry. That’s got to be hard, not at all what you planned.” She sounds truly sad for my family at the loss.

I shrug and grunt. “It was at first, but we’re doing a lot better now. Mama Louise isn’t the kind of woman to pussyfoot around. She basically told us all to get our shit straight right-quick and we said, ‘Yes, ma’am.’ Especially with Shayanne on her side. She’s married to Luke Bennett now.”

Allyson’s mouth drops like she just put some puzzle pieces together. “You said at Hank’s that one of the Bennetts was fucking Shayanne. I wasn’t sure which one or what the situation was there, and it didn’t seem like the time to ask.”

The reminder of the dinner at Hank’s and how we’d started out so badly but ended somewhere else. With that kiss. If Kyle Bloomdale hadn’t interrupted us, I don’t know how far we would’ve taken it.

Would we have ended up in the parking lot? At her house?

At the time, I’d been furious, but maybe it was for the best. It gave us time to battle out some shit. There’s still more to go. I know there’s a whole lot more to her story from the last few years, but we’re getting there little by little.

“C’mere.” I pull her along with me, jogging slightly. I need to show her something before I lose my guts. I’m not a coward, but if this isn’t as important to her as it is to me, I don’t know what I’ll do.