Rough Love (Tannen Boys 1)

Kids are weird and great. The other parents seem to agree as we watch the spontaneous game of tag erupt. Eventually, we get pulled into it too when Evan tags Mike.

Mike acts offended. “Me? Your own father?” But still, he runs off with Evan to tag more people. I’m glad he was able to come today. I know it was hard for him to get the day off and not need to sleep, but he knew how much the boys would want to see their old coach.

After everyone’s a zombie, we decide to take a break and head back to the barn. Shayanne allows a few boys at a time into the yard with her goats, and I pull out my new phone to take pictures of each boy holding Baaarbara. The ornery goat seems to enjoy all the attention, licking faces and bleating happily.

“She thinks she’s a dog,” Joshua says as he wipes away a bit of spit from his cheek. Johnathan laughs at his brother’s grossly silly predicament until Baaarbara leans back and licks him too.

“You’re probably just a bit salty from sweating in the sun,” Shayanne explains, showing us how the goats like their salt lick. “Wanna know a goat fact to surprise your friends?” The boys nod, and Shayanne continues her lesson. “They don’t eat everything, though I bet you’ve heard they do. But nope, not true. Their favorite food is hay, and they’ll eat some fruits and veggies too.”

With that, she brings out a bucket of raisins. “One handful each, sprinkle them around or just hold your hand out, and they’ll eat them all.” The boys’ grubby hands fight to get into the bucket at once, but eventually, everyone has some fruit and is feeding the nearest goat.

“This is awesome,” Liam exclaims, and all the boys agree loudly.

“Ready for something even more fun?” Luke drawls out. “A birdie told me that he promised some muddin’ to one of you.”

Cooper’s eyes go as big as dinner plates and his hand waves through the air. “Me! Coach B said he’d take me muddin’!”

Bruce grins and runs his hand through Cooper’s hair in a familiar move that makes my heart sing. “Cooper’s first, and then we’ll take turns. Sound good, guys?”

“YEAH!” they all yell, following Bruce as he opens the goat pen gate, careful to keep the animals inside as the boys escape.

Over a hill, we pass by a big pond. James tells everyone about how this piece of land is the most important of the entire property because it lets them have a constant water source. “We use it for swimming most of the time, but earlier today, we pumped some out for a very special reason. Just over there.” He points to the other side of the ridge, and the boys run up so fast that I can’t keep up, even with the practice warm-ups doing wonders for my mile time. But they freeze at the top of the hill.

“Whoa,” Liam says.

Finally, I get there and see what’s got the boys’ attention. There’s a small oval dug into the grass, just the top layer of grass scrubbed off, and with the addition of water from the pond, it’s a mud track. There’s a two-seater Gator sitting there, ready to roll.

Bruce loads Cooper in the passenger seat, buckling him up tight. He loans him a pair of goggles and a helmet and then double-checks the seatbelt again. He’s so careful and attentive, and there’s something so sexy about his being fatherly. I mean, coachlike. Yeah, that . . . that’s for sure what I meant.

No, it’s not.

I remember telling him that Cooper and I are a package deal. I fully expected him to bolt. Most guys would, I think, so I’d been spoiling for a fight as a means of self-preservation.

But Bruce doubled down, saying he wanted a chance to love me and Cooper. And he asked me out on a for-real, official date. He’s more than I could ever hope to find mixed up with something I’d already found once.

My heart constricts tight in my chest and then unfurls, its racing pace making me want to run to Bruce and tell him that I’m sorry. For not having faith back then, for fighting us, for being scared, for being damaged, but not for being hopelessly, deeply in love with him.

Again.

But I can’t, not yet. Not while Cooper is laughing wildly, screaming with excitement as they speed around the loop. They’re not going very fast, but the loud engine roars, making it seem dangerous and rowdy. When they come to a stop, Bruce helps Cooper out and does the same safety checks for the next boy.

“Mom! Did you see me? I went muddin’ and did so good! Vroom, vroom.” Cooper’s voice is high-pitched and loud, full of excitement. I listen as he gives me the play by play of every turn he made, having almost as much fun in the retelling as he did in the Gator.