I don’t remember the last time I felt this small. I mean, I’m a short woman, but I’m like one of those chihuahuas that doesn’t let their size hold them back, barking at the biggest pit bull in the park. Right now, I feel small and vulnerable and only want one thing.
“No. Will you just lie with me?” A question, not an order, but Brody reacts the same either way.
“Of course.” He strips down to his underwear, laying everything out neatly over a chair. He climbs into bed with me, curling around me to spoon me from behind. And finally, I can let that last shred of wall crumble.
The tears come slowly at first, Brody’s breath by my ear whispering that it’s okay and to let it out. He hugs me tighter when they start to rack my body, shakes and shivers from the stress finally working their way to the surface. He traces the freckles on my shoulder, kissing them every so often while I fall apart.
And he loves me through it.
The words come eventually, spilling over my lips. “I don’t know what happened. I keep playing it over in my head—he purged, he was shifting, it was fine. And then it wasn’t, and he wouldn’t get out of the car. It was so hot . . . his face, I can’t get that look out of my mind. I need to know that he’s okay.”
I’m rambling, eyes closed as I see the scene at the track again and again.
“He’s fine, Dan said so. And we’ll find out more soon. And honestly, I don’t give a fuck about Todd right now. I only care about you.” His voice cracks as he spits the words out and buries his nose in the hair at the nape of my neck. “I thought I was going to lose you before I could tell you that I love you. I wanted you to know that and was so afraid I’d missed my chance.”
I roll to my other side carefully, the sheet brushing over my legs but the gauze preventing it from hurting too much as I face Brody. I need to see his eyes for this, need to see the dark depths he hides with a front of cocky asshole-itis the same way I disguise my heart with bitchiness.
“I know you love me. Words or not, it’s in everything you do. Making me those pancakes, encouraging me to follow my dreams, and accepting me just as I am. I know you love me. I love you too.”
He inhales sharply. “Fuck, that sounds good.”
“You didn’t know?” I ask, surprised. I guess even I was fooled by his arrogance to some degree, thinking he would assume that every woman in the Tri-State area would fall for him, given the chance. Because I sure as fuck have.
“I’m not exactly known for my emotional development. I’m a simple guy.” He says it like he actually believes that to be true.
I snort. “You are so not simple by any standards, Brody Tannen.” But my words are getting slurry as the pain meds kick in.
“Neither are you, Erica Cole. Get some sleep.”
I nod, and he guides me to turn back over, snuggling up behind me and wrapping me in his arms. I’m almost asleep, or maybe I dream it, but I think I hear him whisper, ‘I love you’ again one more time. I think I smile as I drift off.
Morning sunlight beams in through the window, rousing me from a deep sleep. For a second, I forget everything and have a moment of panic that I’m late for work. I scramble in the bed and am instantly reminded of last night when pain shoots through my legs.
“Shit,” I hiss.
“Good morning, sunshine. Coffee’s on the nightstand.” Brody’s watching me carefully from the kitchen. He’s wearing his jeans again, which is a shame. Not that I’m in any state to take advantage, but I can at least enjoy the look.
He’s standing at the stove and makes no move to come over and hand me the coffee. He’s letting me get it myself. It’s the smallest, littlest, nothing of a thing, except it’s not to me and he knows it. I let myself break down with him last night, and I think deep inside, I worried he would use it against me or it’d change how he sees me.
But that’s not who he is.
I reach for the coffee, struggling a little, and he simply turns around, letting me work it out. That first sip tastes amazing, maybe partially because I got it myself.
“Enough about me,” I start, knowing that it’s all going to be about me for a bit. “What about the auction you’re supposed to be at?”
Brody delicately plates a pancake, adding it to the stack he’s already made. “Talked to Mark last night after you fell asleep to let him know I’d be out for a bit. James went up this morning with his truck to help finish things up.” He glances at the microwave clock. “They should be on their way back already. Fair warning, the girls will come by later today too, led by Mama Louise who’s bringing fixin’s for her famous fried chicken.”