He gently kissed along my jawline, down my neck, and then back to my mouth. The anger I had felt only moments ago was long gone.
When he finally moved to withdraw from me, he froze.
There it was. The look of utter panic.
“Fuck. Oh, shit. Bristol, I’m so sorry. God, I’ve never…I’ve never forgotten to wear a condom before. I swear to God, I…I…I’ve never forgotten, but we got so caught up.”
I nodded and tried to keep a calm expression on my face.
“You’re on the pill, right?” he asked.
“Why do you assume I’m on the pill?” I asked, not even sure why I was so offended by this normal question. He had every right to ask me that.
“Um, I guess I assumed.” He pulled back more, and this time, he did withdraw from me. The instant absence of him inside me left me feeling lost.
“Let me go get cleaned up—I’ll bring you back a washcloth.”
I nodded and watched as he walked into the bathroom.
Turning my head, I stared out of one of the stained glass windows. It was dark out, and I suddenly felt like the walls of the little old chapel were closing in on me.
Anson came back, still naked, and sat on the bed. He went to clean me up, and I was so taken aback by the sweet gesture, I smiled. I wanted to purr with how good it felt. It was crazy insane, but I wanted him again. How in the hell could I possibly want him again this soon?
When he stood, and I looked at that body, I knew why. I felt why between my legs.
I sat up and pulled the covers with me as I rested my chin on my knees. Anson reached down and picked up his boxers. A strange look was on his face. He sat down on the edge of the bed and let out a slow breath.
“Have you…have you ever had unprotected sex?” he asked.
My mouth nearly dropped open. “No! Never.”
I couldn’t help but notice his shoulders drop as tension instantly left them.
“What about with Josh?”
It felt like he had slapped me across the face.
“Josh?” I asked, utterly confused, “I just told you, I’ve never had unprotected sex, Anson.”
Anson turned and looked at me. His eyes were dark with something I had never seen before. “But you did sleep with him?”
“Anson, why are you asking me that now? Are you trying to ruin what just happened between us?”
He frowned. “No. Of course not. I guess I’m just…I’m…”
I moved closer to him. “You’re what?”
Slowly, he shook his head. “You slept with my best friend.”
Anger pulsed through me, nearly making it so that I couldn’t breathe.
“And what? Did you remain celibate the last six years? You haven’t slept with anyone since me?”
“Of course I have.”
His confession took me by surprise. I knew he had, of course, but hearing him say it hurt more than I thought it would. Anson saw it on my face, and he cursed under his breath. I pushed the covers off of me and quickly searched for my panties.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting dressed.”
He got up and rounded the bed. He pulled me into his arms, and I tried with all my might to push him away.
“I’m sorry. I’m confused right now, Bri.”
My eyes widened in shock. “Confused about what?”
He pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear and softly asked, “Are you going to answer me? Are you on the pill?”
I felt my throat working to swallow. My mouth suddenly went dry. If Anson knew I wasn’t on the pill, what would he think? Would he be angry? Would he think I did this on purpose? Looking to tie myself to his money? His fame? For a moment, I wanted to lie. To tell him what he wanted to hear.
With a heaviness in my chest, I answered him.
“No. I’m not on the pill right now. I missed some pills about six months back, and my cycle got all messed up. I stopped taking them since I’m not dating anyone and didn’t foresee me dating anyone anytime soon.”
His brows pulled in slightly, then he took a step back, letting me go so that I could grab the T-shirt and slip it on. “When are you supposed to start?”
I stopped to think about the date. “In about two weeks.”
He nodded and then let me go. “I’m sorry I was so careless like that, Bri.”
“We both didn’t think about it, Anson.”
“I don’t regret it.”
His eyes met mine, and when I didn’t answer right away, he nodded and went to walk away.
“I don’t regret it either. Anson, my head is swimming here. There’s so much left unsaid between us. But I do not regret what we shared together. I’ve…I’ve missed you. And what happened between me and Josh–”
He lifted his hand. “I really don’t want to talk about that right now.”