Before You

My gaze dropped to the sign that said we were twelve miles from the airport. “No, find some rock,” I told him. “And, Tony?” I took a breath. “Play it loud.”

THREE

HONEY

SPRING 1984

THE FIRST TIME Honey heard Andrew’s voice, she saw stars. That was because she was on a bed, being rolled through the emergency room, and the lights above were completely blinding her. But the flashes of light in her vision were also from pain. Every time an intense cramp pounded through her abdomen, her vision would turn spotted and blurry.

When he joined her, Andrew introduced himself as the attending physician of Maine Medical Center’s emergency department, and he asked her questions the entire trip down the hallway. By the time they got in an exam room, a nurse had placed a cold washcloth over Honey’s face, so she didn’t have to strain to keep her eyes closed.

“I’m going to touch your stomach,” Andrew said once the wheels of the bed were locked. “You can stay in the position you’re in. I just need you to tell me if it hurts.”

“It hurts!” Honey shouted the second he put pressure on her right side. She tried to fight through the torture as he moved to her back, but it was too much. “Ow!”

“Honey, take a deep breath for me.”

Even though it sounded more like a term of endearment, she didn’t focus on that. While she lay on her side, she kept her face tucked into her knees, her eyes shut, and tried to open her lungs, taking in the air as slow as she could.

“How about here?” he asked, his fingers returning, now in a lower spot.

A searing agony tore through her, and her bravery vanished. “Make it stop.” She sucked in a sob. “Please, Doctor. I can’t take it.”

“I ordered some X-rays, which we’re going to do right now. If it’s appendicitis, which I believe it is, we’ll take you in for surgery.”

“Surgery?”

With her roommate being at work, Honey had driven herself to the hospital. Not in all the time she had been sick—during the hours in her apartment before she left for the hospital, during the drive when she pulled over to throw up, when she walked in from the parking lot, doubled over in pain—did she think she would need surgery.

“We do about fifty a month,” he said. “It’s very common.”

She had to see his face; his voice wasn’t enough. So, slowly, Honey began to unravel her body and lift her head, the washcloth dropping from her eyes. They weren’t open more than a crack when a wave of nausea passed through her, and she dry-heaved on the bed, immediately covering her face again. “Just fix me.”

His fingers went to her shoulder. “You’re in good hands.”

There was something about his touch that reassured her, that truly made her believe she was going to be all right. She didn’t know why she believed him or how someone’s fingertips could make her feel that way.

But his did.

“Is there someone we can call for you?” he asked. “A husband? Friend?”

“No.” Her leg twitched when a cramp shot through her. “My parents are out of town, and my roommate is at work. You’ll never be able to reach either of them.”

“Don’t worry; we won’t leave you alone.”

Honey hadn’t spent much time inside hospitals or doctor offices, but she couldn’t remember when a doctor had been this kind to her. Especially one who probably had an emergency room full of patients.

She reached up, and when she felt his wrist, she circled her fingers around it. “Thank you.”

“We’re going to lift you,” Andrew said, and that was when Honey heard more people coming into the room. “Then, we’ll take the X-rays.”

She took a breath, wanting to scream when it stabbed her so sharply. “Okay.”

“You can squeeze my hand if it hurts.”

She didn’t thank him again, but her grip tightened the minute she was in the air, and she didn’t stop clutching him until the medicine in her IV caused everything to go from dark to black.

FOUR

BILLIE

I WASN’T a diva when it came to traveling. At least, not in comparison to the other vloggers in my industry whose list of requirements were much more extensive than mine. There were only two things I asked for, and that was a minimum of a four-star hotel and a window seat in a row that had just a little extra leg room.