Before You

I looked at Jared, tears making his face blurry. “Answer me,” I whispered.

“Billie … I can’t.”

I immediately heard a scream.

I just wasn’t sure if it was mine.

FOURTEEN

HONEY

SPRING 1984

HONEY REMEMBERED LOOKING at the doctor’s hands while he had been in her room, but she couldn’t recall anything gold or shiny catching her attention. Of course, she also hadn’t recognized the doctor when he first came in. And now, thinking back, several other things from that morning were fuzzy.

It was an important detail she had missed.

One that changed everything.

Still, she couldn’t understand why he would ask her out if he was married. Does he think she’s a slut, and she’ll give him something his wife won’t? Or maybe he thinks she’s so grateful for everything he has done that she will overlook his ring.

She was too confused to draw a conclusion, so she rolled her head to the right, looking at Valentine on the other side of her bed, and said, “What do I do?”

“Either call him back and cancel or wait for him to show up tomorrow night to do it in person.”

Andrew was at the hospital, and from the sounds of their phone call, it was extremely busy there. If she left a message, she didn’t know the likelihood of him receiving it.

“I’m just going to wait until tomorrow,” Honey replied, putting pressure on her incision. “And after he shows up, I think I’m going to shut the door in his face.”

“Please kick him in the balls first.”

“Don’t make me laugh; it hurts.” Honey closed her eyes, and a memory of Andrew smiling at her came into her head. “Ugh, he’s so cute.”

“There are much cuter out there.” She reached for Honey’s hand and wrapped hers around it. “Stop thinking about him. He’s not worth it. I promise, you’re going to find someone who is.”

Honey had said the same words to Valentine in the past. That was what best friends did in situations like this. That didn’t mean Honey would stop thinking about the doctor or that she’d so easily be able to drain him from her mind.

As the hours ticked by, she learned that was impossible.

Andrew was all she thought about until she went to bed and again while she was at the DMV the next day. When she got back to her apartment after work, she changed out of her dress, putting on a pair of jeans and a casual, sleeveless shirt. She sprayed her long hair and teased her bangs, and then she cleaned up her makeup before going to the couch to wait for him.

It was a few minutes before seven when the doorbell rang. There was a movie playing on the TV, and Honey’s eyes were on the screen, but she hadn’t watched a single scene. She was too busy thinking about what she was going to say.

Her heart pounded as she stood, and her feet tingled as she made her way across the floor. The metal handle felt slick as she surrounded it with her sweaty hand. Her eyes closed for a second, and she took a deep breath before she slowly opened the door.

Andrew was on the other side, holding a bouquet of roses. The lush red of the flowers immediately drew in Honey’s eyes but not before she took a long look at Andrew. At the playfulness in his eyes and the mischievousness in his grin.

“You look beautiful, Honey.”

There was something about him she couldn’t get enough of. She had felt that the last two times she saw him. And as she stared at him, she realized it was his kindness. She could sense it, even from where she was standing.

Her stomach felt like a plugged sink, filling with disappointment and dread.

Especially when he held the flowers in her direction, and she dropped her gaze to his hand.

To the gold band around his important finger.

Valentine was right.

And it made her feel sick.

She stared at his ring for several seconds longer just to be sure, and then she looked at him and said, “I don’t go out with married men, Andrew. Please don’t ever call me again.”

She went back inside, leaving him on the doorstep, and she shut him out. Not having the energy to go to her room, she pushed her back against the door and slowly slid down until her butt was on the floor.

Her chest was miserably tight, and her stomach felt the same.