Before You

I stopped reluctantly and turned around, backtracking until I was in her doorway. “Hey,” I said, watching her smile as she got up from her chair.

Marla was an officer and had been supervising this department for the six years I’d been employed by the city. I’d met her while I was in the EMT recruit academy when I was first hired.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. “I hope today went all right.”

I closed my eyes and made sure she didn’t hear me sigh.

This was what I hadn’t wanted.

Along with the extra-big smiles from my coworkers when I had walked into the call center earlier today.

And the card that had been slipped into my desk, which I’d opened before my shift.

And the invitation to lunch I had declined.

It was all really unnecessary.

And way too much.

I squeezed her back because it was the right thing to do and said, “Yes, today went fine.” Then, I immediately pulled away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

I wondered if tomorrow would feel different.

I thought about that as I made my way through the police headquarters.

This building was so busy with employees, many of whom I’d met. Maybe even close to all of them. If they saw me, they’d want me to stop walking. They’d want to talk.

Some might even want to hug me.

To avoid any type of contact, I took out my phone and held it to my ear, pretending to be in a serious conversation. At the same time, I stayed to the left side of each room I passed through and kept my face down.

That was everything I could do to go unnoticed.

I was flooded with relief when I made it out the front of the building without having to say a word and continued my trek to Ruggles station, hurrying into the train before the door shut.

Two stops.

That was how far it was to Back Bay station.

During the ride, I looped my arm around the metal pole and scrolled through one of my apps. I was only able to read a handful of status updates before Back Bay station was announced from the speakers.

Once I made my way outside, I went down Dartmouth Street until I reached the restaurant. Rose was right in front, just like she had said in her text. She was at a small, round table that had two glasses of red wine and a charcuterie board on top of it.

“Hiii,” she said as I got closer and embraced me the second I reached her.

I didn’t mind.

That was part of the reason I was here.

I even hugged her back as hard as I could.

Rose and I had been assigned as roommates our freshman year at Northeastern. I was a shy girl from southern Maine, who made the honor roll with ease and wanted to work in health care. I was also extremely inexperienced in partying. Rose was from South Boston. She came to college with a master’s degree in drinking and could throw up the next morning without even smudging her lipstick.

We were complete opposites.

And, although we had both changed so much over the years, we were still closer than ever.

“Hi,” I whispered back.

She was holding me so tightly; it was hard to breathe.

“Thanks for not canceling.”

“Well, I tried,” I admitted.

“You know, if you really didn’t want to come tonight, I wouldn’t have forced you.”

“I know.”

I moved to the other side of the table and sat across from her. Once I slung my bag over the corner of the chair, I lifted the wine glass, clicked it against hers, and took a sip.

Pinot noir.

She knew what I needed.

“To moments,” she said as I swallowed.

Rose believed in celebrating them.

Always.

And, according to her, today was one.

“To moments,” I repeated.

She took a drink from her glass, and then she crossed her arms over the table and leaned in closer. “Tell me all about your day. I want to hear every detail.”

I had known this question was coming. That was partly why I’d wanted to cancel. “I woke up, went for a run, and went to work, and now, I’m meeting you. There’s not much else to tell.”

“Alix …”

She didn’t say my name in a reprimanding way.

She said it as though she were encouraging me to talk about it. Because Rose forever assumed I needed to get something off my chest.

“Work was fine,” I said. “The entire shift was rather uneventful, honestly, and for the most part, it was a shockingly safe day in Boston.”