Cam slowly sipped his whiskey, desperately hoping that she’d put him out of his misery sometime soon. Mentally urging her to hurry the hell up, he forced himself to remain quiet, to see where she was going with this.
“So, the only conclusion I can come to is that today was a test. Last night something shifted between us and you were forced to face the fact that we have moved beyond being parents and bed buddies. That realization scared the hell out of you.”
Well, yeah. Essentially.
“And you thought a reasonable response to that was to test me, my feelings?”
Cam winced when Vivi’s voice rose and frustration and hurt leaked through that cool mask.
“I do want you to stay, Vivi.” It was all he could say, the only words he could form. “Please don’t bail on me, please don’t disappoint me” were words he wanted to scream but refused to let pass over his lips.
“You have a damn stupid way of showing it, McNeal,” Vivi whipped back. “Why did you feel the need to test me?”
If he was less of a man, he could deny her charge, find a decent excuse for his actions. If she was going back to work, she’d need a decent nanny—Charlie was getting on in age and Joe wasn’t going to be around to fill in the gaps—and she wanted her own restaurant. But he couldn’t lie to her. She deserved the truth.
Before he could answer her, she lifted her hand to stop him from speaking. “Don’t bother answering. I’ve already worked it out.”
He was interested to see if she came anywhere near the truth.
“You did to me what your father did to you. You did what you know.” Okay, she was getting warm.
“Last night you told me that your father would test you, that he’d demand that you do something and then you’d be rewarded with his love. You never told me if it worked.”
No, his father always reneged on his promise. Cam never received what he’d been promised.
“You expected me to disappoint you and then you’d have your excuse to push me away,” Vivi said softly. “You set me up, knowing I’d never agree to your terms and that would give you the excuse to put the distance you needed between us. Because basically, you’re terrified of being loved and even more scared of being disappointed.”
Cam stared at her, utterly blindsided that she saw him so clearly, knew him so well.
“They say that in times of emotional stress we revert back to the child we were and you just showed me how true that is. Earlier I was tempted to tell you to take your controlling nature and shove it. It’s my instinct to run at the slightest hint of controlling behavior because my mom controlled everything I did and said. And I so nearly did.”
Cam gripped his glass tighter. “So why are you still here?”
Vivi’s deep, dark, stunning eyes met his. “Because my love for you is stronger than my need to run from being controlled.”
She loved him? Still? How?
“You love me?”
“That’s pretty much the only reason I’m still here,” Vivi said, not sounding happy about it at all.
Vivi leaned sideways and picked up her bag from the floor at her feet. She dug around inside, pulled out her phone and tapped the screen. After a minute, she dropped the phone back into her bag and met his eyes. “I just called for a ride and it will be here in five minutes. Just long enough to explain what’s going to happen next.”
What was going to happen next? He had no damn idea. He was still wandering through this minefield, blindfolded and confused.
“I love you, Cam, and I think, maybe, that you might love me a little, too. I think you want me, want the family we can be, but you’re scared. That’s okay, I’m scared, too.”
Cam looked at her, hope blazing from his eyes. Maybe she’d stay...
“I’m not staying, Cam. I won’t be controlled by anything, not you, not my mother and certainly not by your fear and your past. You’ve got to decide whether you can trust me, trust that I love you, trust that I’m not going to bail on you and you need to do all that without the need to test me, or my love.
“I need a partner who respects me as much as I respect him. Somebody who loves me without qualification, who can accept my love and love me back.”