Unbeautiful (Unbeautiful 1)

“Maybe, but if I do, I couldn’t tell you who it is.”

He closes his eyes and inhales loudly, no longer trying to conceal his frustration. “I can’t help you unless you give me some hints.” His eyelids lift, his pupils scorching fervently. His gaze swallows me up again, confuses me, clouds my head.

I want...

I want...

I want him.

“A hint? I come from a place like no other, where nothing is what it seems. Everyone has their secrets, and those secrets have followed me.”

He gapes at me then chuckles. “Did you just tell me a riddle?”

I lift my shoulder, giving a half-shrug. “You said you wanted a hint. Well, that’s the best I can do.”

His muscles flex as he moves his arms. “You said where you come from... Were you talking about your family?”

“Kind of.”

“What about your brother?”

“What about him?”

“You said you haven’t seen him in six months, yet you never said why.”

“Because I don’t know why.” I sigh, drape my arm over my head, and stare out the window. “There’s just stuff... with my family... that even I don’t understand sometimes. How my parents live their lives... it’s never made sense to me.”

He remains silent until I look at him, and then his hands glide through the air. “And you think they have something to do with your broken window.”

My lungs constrict as the air is ripped from my lungs. My breathing is ragged, my chest heaves, and Ryler fully notices, his gaze zeroing in on my breasts. “Or my town. But the two of them... They’re kind of the same, I guess.” I gasp for air, embarrassed that he’s seeing me like this.

“Hey, Emery.” With great hesitancy, he leans in and cups my cheek. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he mouths.

“I hope you’re right,” I whisper. To distract myself from the panic, I lean up and press my lips to his.

And something miraculous happens. I calm down instantly, without medication.

He hesitates, but only briefly before he begins kissing me back. Our tongues tangle as he leans over me, gently forcing me onto my back. His body covers mine, his arm supports his weight while the other hand travels down my body, across my hips, my breast, then caresses the flesh on my neck.

I allow my own hands to explore, sliding my fingers up and down his chest before I daringly inch them up the front of his shirt. His muscles tense, and he bites down on my lip, eliciting a groan from me.

Suddenly, he’s pulling away, but only to kiss a path down my jawline to the hollow of my neck. He licks a trail across my collarbone, and the metal on his tongue grazes my skin and sends heat coiling through my body. His hand grips my thigh, his fingertips pressing down gently as he hitches my leg over his hip. Then he grinds against me, but it feels like I need more. I’m panting, needy, breathless, and more riled up than I’ve ever been.

“Ryler...” I gasp, tangling my fingers through his hair as his mouth delves downward to the top of my shirt. His other hand slides up my leg and up my shorts. When his fingers brush the edge of my panties, he pauses.

Not knowing what else to do, I reach down and push his hand up, letting him know what I want, something I’ve never had before. My blood burns with need, desire, and lust as he moves his mouth back up to mine and slips a finger deep inside me.

My teeth clamp down on his bottom lip, and my fingers glide up his back, my nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. How on earth can this be better than sex? Well, better than sex with Evan.

Ryler leans back to watch me, like he did last night, while he works his finger in and out. He adds another, tracing circles, driving my body so damn crazy all I can do is scream.

And holy shit do I scream.

For the first time ever.

“Jesus, Emery,” Ryler mouths as he stares down at me in awe. “Was that your... first time doing that?”

“Yeah.” It’s hard to get air in and out of my lungs. My skin is damp, my legs are tired, and I feel so content inside I don’t know what to do with myself. “I’ve had sex, though. It’s just… well, my boyfriend…” I pause, unsure how to describe the relationship between Evan and me. “He was confused about how foreplay works.”

A soft laugh escapes Ryler’s lips. He pushes up then grabs my hands and helps me sit up.

“I’m really curious to find out all your firsts,” he signs with a lopsided grin. “It should be fun.”

My cheeks heat, but I hold his gaze. “Yeah, me, too.”

He studies at me a moment longer. “Okay, I think it’s time for another first.”

“And what’s that?” I ask, my gaze flicking to the hallway, to my bedroom at the end of it, wondering what else we could do if we went back there.

He rises to his feet, rounds the table, and stops to the side of the sofa, next to where I’m sitting. “We’re going talk to the landlord about your window and make your first official renter’s damage report.” He extends his hand for me to take, grinning.

I smile back and lace my fingers through his.

“We probably shouldn’t mention the note, though,” he signs after he helps me to my feet. “We should pretend the brick was just some random thing that happened.”

I reach for the door knob. “I wasn’t planning on telling anyone that.”

“Then why did you tell me?” he wonders. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m not sure.” I pull open the door, and the cool morning breeze gusts inside. “You just seem... like someone I can trust. It’s crazy, because when I first met you, I was kind of afraid of you. You looked really intense, but your looks mean nothing... I mean, you’re gorgeous and everything, but what I meant was...” I trail off as his expression falters. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” He stiffly smiles, tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, then signs, “You’re gorgeous, too.”

I’m starting to wonder if he might be keeping something from me. How can I know for sure, though, when I barely know him at all?

The feeling only increases when I open the door, and he slips out without another word. After I lock up, we trot down the stairs and into the sunlight sparkling from the clear blue sky. When we reach the sidewalk, he pulls out his phone and sends a text message. The phone almost instantly buzzes, announcing an incoming message. He reads it then strangles the phone as he slows to a stop in the middle of the grass. His fingers hammer against the buttons as he types back.

The process happens about ten times. With each message that comes through, he grows more enraged as he types back. Worried he’s going to explode, I finally decide to say something.

I gently touch his hand. “Ryler, is everything okay?”

His gaze darts to me as he jumps back, like if he forgot I was there. He quickly settles down, and his arms lower to his sides. The phone is still clutched in his hand as he studies me with his brows furrowed. Then he peeks over his shoulder at the parking lot.

“I have to go,” he signs as he looks back at me. “Something came up at work.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, go.” I stuff my hands into my back pockets, trying not to get too upset, but it kind of feels like he’s blowing me off. I back across the grass toward the main building of the apartment complex. “I’ll go tell the landlord what’s up. See you later, maybe?” I start to turn around, but he catches me by the arm, stopping me.

His fingers unfold from my arm. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” his hands glide through the air. “We have class, remember?” He smiles, but it’s fake.

So fake.

Like all the smiles I have ever known.

“You don’t have to take me if you don’t want to,” I say, hugging my arms around myself as I stare at the grass. See, this is what you get for being so open. No one wants to hear your secrets, Emery. “I mean, I get it. A crazy neighbor girl bringing drama into your life is probably the last thing you want.”

“I want to drive you to clas

s, Emery,” he presses, dipping his head to meet my gaze. “I swear. I’m only leaving right now because of work.”

“Okay.” I try to shake off my insecurities the best I can. “Sorry. I just wasn’t sure if I was annoying you or something.”

His chuckles. “No, you’re not annoying me at all. If anything, you’re doing the exact opposite.” He stuffs the phone into his back pocket. “See you in a bit.” He steps back to leave, but then changes his mind and moves forward instead. The movement is jolting and makes him appear like he’s dancing.

A giggle slips from my lips, and he smiles genuinely as he regains his footing.

“Sorry,” he signs, coming at me. Without warning, he kisses me. The kiss is way briefer than the others we’ve shared, just a caress of a butterfly wings on my lips.

As quick as the kiss began, Ryler is hurrying off, flying toward the carport.

He passes car after car, striding across the parking lot and out the entrance of the complex. I’m starting to wonder if he takes the bus to work when he makes a sharp veer to the right on the sidewalk and rushes up to a black BMW parked at the end of the street. He pauses as he reaches the back of the car and begins to turn around.

I quickly duck out if sight. I’m not even sure why, other than I’m worried about Ryler and who is behind the wheel of that car. I’m worried because that car looks exactly like my mother’s.

What if Ryler is an Evie?

Evie was my friend for most of middle school, until the day she got mad at me over a guy and outed that she had only been my friend because my parents had forced her to be. I confronted my mother, who denied it. But then I overheard her talking to Evie’s mother about it. They had done it so Evie could report everything I did.

What if Ryler is another Evie? What if my mother hired him to keep an eye on me while I try my new life in Laramie?

My stomach drops.

With as many secrets as I have, I’m starting to wonder if Ryler might have more.