The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless 4)

He bowed his head and sighed.

“I need you to promise me you won’t say anything to him.”

He shook his head. “You’re putting me in a tough position, Cleo. This is my brother…”

“I know. But I am going to tell him myself…just not right now. Not until I’m ready.”

“And when will that be?”

I only had another month at the most. “Within a month.”

That seemed to be enough for him to relax. “Alright. Since you’re going to tell him yourself, I’ll keep your secret.”

“Okay…thanks.”

He stared at me, the ice cream melting between us.

This was so hard to say out loud…really hard.

“Cleo,” he pressed. “Seriously, my heart is about to explode. Just tell me.”

“Okay…” I stared at the ice cream between us and then took a deep breath, forcing myself to face reality, to address the problem that could destroy my life…or make me really happy. “I’m pregnant.”

Tucker didn’t react at first. It was a slow burn, a slow rise of his eyebrows, a gentle tightening of his face. He didn’t even take a breath for a bit, like his brain didn’t need oxygen for a split second. Then he straightened, inhaled, and leaned back against the wooden booth. “Jesus…”

He didn’t need to explain why that was a problem, which was why I wanted to talk to him in the first place. “It was an accident. I swear…” The last thing I wanted was for Deacon to think I did this on purpose, like Valerie did to him, because I would never ever do that. And I’d said all that stuff about wanting to have his babies… He was going to think it was deliberate.

“How do women get pregnant in this day and age on birth control?”

“I don’t know, okay?” I was hurt by the question. “We weren’t together for a few months, so maybe I skipped a pill or lost track of time…I don’t know. But when I skipped my period, I was shocked. And then I went to the doctor, and it was confirmed.”

He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his fingers interlocked with his knuckles against his chin. “How far along are you?”

“Just over two months.”

“You’ve known that long and didn’t tell him?”

“I’ve only known for about a month.”

“But still, Cleo.”

“It was Christmas and then Derek’s birthday and then Deacon left…and I just tried to pretend it wasn’t real. Because I’m so scared that once I tell him…” I couldn’t even say the words out loud. I’d already lost him once, and it killed me. If I had to do it again…I wouldn’t survive. I wanted to have children, his children, but I hadn’t been excited about that once since I’d found out because I was so afraid of what the little person inside me would cost…the man I loved. “I didn’t do it on purpose, Tucker. I’m afraid he’ll think that and all our trust will be broken.” I rested my face in my palms, feeling the tears stick to my skin, feeling the pain in my chest because my lungs singed every time I took a breath.

“Cleo.”

I sniffed and dropped my hands, my makeup probably mutilated by the tears.

He grabbed a few napkins from the edge of the table and handed them to me. “I believe you, Cleo.”

I wiped my eyes and then my nose. “You do?”

He nodded. “You already had him. You were already living with him. You wouldn’t need to trick him into knocking you up to keep him. The three of you are already a family for the most part.”

“Yeah.”

“But…”

My chest tightened again.

“Deacon has his triggers, like other people do. And he might revert back to the whole thing with Valerie, and he might not take it well. I really don’t know what his reaction will be. On the one hand, I feel like he’s grown into a different person with you. But on the other…this is a really touchy subject for him.”

“Yeah…I know.”

He gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry… I wish I could tell you he would be understanding, but I really don’t know.”

“I know.”

“But regardless of the outcome, you have to tell him. He’s got a baby on the way, and he has no idea.”

I wanted to be happy as long as I could, to live in that fairy tale until I ran out of time.

“Did you think about…getting an abortion?”

I literally felt nauseated at the suggestion, repulsed because I could never, ever do that. “No.”

“Because you could—”

“That’s not an option.” Thinking about doing it at all was sickening, but doing it to Deacon’s baby…the man I loved…was just disturbing. I hadn’t really acknowledged my baby’s existence because I was too concerned with Deacon’s reaction, but I knew I loved them…so much. I just didn’t know if Deacon would still love me once he knew.

“Then you need to tell him.”

“I know.”

“For what it’s worth, I can’t even tell.”