The Boy Who Has No Faith (Soulless 5)

“Because they’re the future—and I want to make sure they’re taught to be the best.”

Seven

Derek

The more I put distance between Fleur and me, the clingier she became.

She blew up my phone and demanded my attention.

The sex was great, but it wasn’t worth the headache.

When she came to my door and knocked, I already knew it was her even though I hadn’t asked her to come over. I opened the door and glared at her. “Get off my fucking ass.”

She stilled at my rage, like she was innocent and didn’t deserve it. “I just want to talk to you—”

“No. You want to harass me.” I left the door open and walked farther into the penthouse so my neighbors wouldn’t overhear the dumbest conversation on the goddamn planet.

“Stop yelling at me—”

“Then stop pissing me off.” I turned back to her, in my sweatpants, exhausted after the long day I had. “I don’t pose in front of a camera for five minutes and get paid millions. I have to work my ass off every single day. I don’t have time to listen to you beg for attention like a dog.”

She took a shaky breath, and her eyes started to water.

She was such a pain in the ass, but once she started to cry, I felt like shit. I lowered my voice. “Fleur, I told you I don’t want a relationship. You continue to coerce me into one, and it’s not going to happen. You want me to be your boyfriend when I’m not boyfriend material.”

She dropped her gaze and sniffed. “I think you could be…”

“No.”

She stepped closer to me. “Just let me in. Why won’t you let me in?”

I clenched my jaw and ground my teeth together.

“I know there’s more to you than this. There are these concrete walls all around you. I know there’s more underneath. Sometimes I think I can see it—”

“Stop this.”

“Derek—”

“I said stop it. I told you that would never, ever happen. I meant what I said. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are or how good you are between the sheets, I will never feel differently about it. Don’t waste your time on me when you could have someone better. Fleur, you deserve someone better.”

“But I want you.”

I turned away. “You can’t have me…at least, not like that.”

“You could at least try—”

“No.” I turned back to her. “This is over.”

“What…?”

“I told you we could be exclusive fuck buddies, but that’s only because I don’t want to wear anything. It doesn’t mean anything. It will never mean anything. But if you can’t handle that, we should walk away. I don’t want to hurt you, and it pisses me off that you continue to make me. You turn me into this asshole I don’t want to be. I was honest with you from the beginning, and it’s not my fault that you continue to think you can change me. You can’t, Fleur. I’m set in my ways.”

She dropped her chin, her eyes filling with more moisture.

“You should go…” I didn’t want to end things, because it was nice to have the same partner since it was familiar and easy. The sex was always good and predictable. I didn’t have a lot of time, so getting bareback sex regularly was perfect for me. But she couldn’t keep it sterile. She made it complicated. I fucking hated complicated. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“You aren’t hurting me—”

“Be with someone who actually wants to be with you. Fleur. I will only use you. I literally don’t feel a single thing for you. I could see you fuck some other guy, and I wouldn’t care less. Do you understand?”

“Derek—”

“Go. I mean it.”

She finally turned around and walked out.

I was relieved when she finally left. I didn’t want to be harsh. I didn’t want to be cruel. But she needed a reason to go, and I just gave her one.

I knocked.

“It’s open.” My father’s deep voice was audible on the other side of the door.

I let myself into the condo where I’d grown up. My bedroom was down the hallway, next to Dex’s and across from Daisy’s. But we all left the nest years ago, so it was just the two of them now. “Dinner smells good.”

Mom crossed the hallway to meet me at the door. Her arms opened, and she hugged me tightly, squeezing me like I was still a little boy she wanted to love like a teddy bear. “Honey, it’s so nice to see you.”

I watched my dad place the main dish on the table. He was the chef of the family, the tyrant of the kitchen. He was in dark jeans and a gray V neck, the color matching the salt-and-pepper color on his head.

“You too, Mom.” I kissed her cheek before I pulled away.

My dad crossed the living room and came to me next, tall and proud, having the fit physique of a man in his thirties, not in his fifties. There were small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and around his mouth, but time didn’t break him the way it did with most people. And he still showed me the same affection, like I was a boy instead of a grown man. “Little man.” He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.