The Boy Who Has No Faith (Soulless 5)

“Just trying to enjoy the last of summer,” Mom said. “It’s just not the same in the winter.”

I drank my beer. “How’re the residents of Trinity Building?”

“Interesting,” Mom said. “Always interesting.”

“And what about you, Dad?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Busy, like always. I’m getting good results from this rotation, so I’m not sure if it’s the medication or just coincidence.”

I didn’t mention Bryan because I knew he couldn’t talk about it.

“What about you?” Dad asked me. “Because you’re far more interesting than either of us.”

“I disagree.” I took another bite.

Mom smiled. “Tell us anyway. And just dumb it down a little…”

I told them about my rockets, my class, and the other things I was working on. They were always so interested in everything I had to say, even though they would never be invested if the same words left someone else’s mouth.

“Well, I’m going to go inside and do the dishes…” Mom rose out of her chair, and her tone was so unusual it was obvious she was just making an excuse to leave us alone. When she walked past me, she turned around and mouthed, “Talk to him.” But since she and my dad couldn’t hear as well as I could, she didn’t know that she still gave a quiet whisper even when she tried to be silent.

I couldn’t suppress my grin.

Mom walked inside and shut the door.

Dad moved one chair over so he could be right beside me, and he brought his beer along. He sat there and looked at the lake, silent. It wasn’t because he wanted me to get comfortable, but it took him a long time to think about what he was going to say before he said it.

I tried to make it easier for him. “What does Mom want you to talk to me about?”

He smiled slightly before he took a drink of his beer. “You’ve got great hearing.”

“She was standing right next to me, so…”

He stared at the lake for a while, still taking his time even though I’d broken the ice for him. “Are you seeing anyone?”

My dad had asked me that in passing through the years, but it was always a casual question, not an interrogation. The fact that my mother pressured him into discussing this made me think there was an ulterior motive. “No.”

He stared at the lake and didn’t say anything.

Was that it? Or did he have something else to say but he was trying to make small talk first?

He set down his beer then brushed his fingers across his lips.

That was when I knew he was thinking, and he was about to say something.

“When I was your age, I was doing the same thing you are now. I didn’t want to be in another relationship after my divorce. I was never really seeing anybody, because I was never with the same person long enough for it to ever qualify as anything…”

“Dad, you already gave me the sex talk when I was fifteen.”

“I’m being serious.” He turned to me. “Stop talking and listen.” He immediately turned back into his father mode, like he was disciplining me for doing something I shouldn’t. He was trying to get this out, and it was already hard for him because he was terrible at this sort of thing, but it was more appropriate for him to speak to me instead of Mom.

“Passionate relationships make you blind to all the things you need but are missing. These younger women that you date can’t possibly give you what you need, not with your intellectual capacity. You’re thirty now…going on thirty-one…and maybe it’s time to move forward.”

I shook my head. “Dad—”

“I will tell you when I’m finished.”

I kept my mouth shut, out of respect that he’d earned, even if the subject matter annoyed me.

“I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life, just the two of us. You gave me everything I needed. But then I met Cleo…and everything changed. She gave me something I didn’t realize I needed. She made me into a man I didn’t think I could ever be. And I know sex is all that matters to you right now, but when you’re in love…it’s better. It’s much, much better.”

I didn’t cringe even though it was gross.

“It’s been a long time since you tried again, Derek. Maybe it’s time to stop with the women who just want your money and your attention…and start looking for something more serious. A woman your age. A woman even older than you. Someone with a maturity that can satisfy your mind and soul…and not just your body.”

I stayed quiet because I wasn’t sure if he was done.

“Your mother and I want you to be with someone who’s right for you. We’re afraid if you never try to look…you’ll never find her.”

“Dad, you didn’t get married until you were thirty-four.”