“If you understand me, if you know me, if you’ve been paying any attention at all to me these past two years, you would know I’d never sign a contract like that,” she says.
“Because you’re the kind of person who always tries to do what is right?”
Stella doesn’t answer.
“So you think it’s fine to have sex with your boss but not to have your boss’s baby?”
“No, I don’t think it’s fine,” she tells me. “That’s why I ended it.”
“And what if I got you pregnant? After all, you asked me not to use any protection. Are you going to use the baby to get me to marry you?”
Stella’s eyes grow wide. “I’d never do that.”
I nod. “Of course not.”
I’m not sure why I said that. I must be losing my temper because I’ve been frustrated and anxious all day. But I have to keep myself calm or I won’t get what I want from her.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re not that kind of person. In fact, I know you’re a good person raised by good people…”
“Don’t bring my parents into this.”
“That’s why I offered you this contract,” I tell her. “Do you think I’d just ask anyone to be the mother of my child?”
“Why don’t you just get yourself a girlfriend? Or a wife? Isn’t that what your father wants? Does he know you’re doing this? Do you think he’ll approve?”
“As long as he gets his grandchild and the heir to Hawthorne Holdings, he’ll be happy,” I say. “If not, I no longer care.”
“So it’s all about the baby?” Stella asks as she uncrosses her legs and lifts her hands. “I’m just a baby maker? A baby machine? A sex doll that happens to have the extra feature of being able to reproduce?”
I frown. “I never said any of that.”
“But all you care about is the baby, right? That’s why you’re willing to pay so much for it.”
“I care about you, too. That’s why I’m letting you keep the baby.”
“Oh. That’s a concession?”
“That’s why I’m providing for you. I’m willing to give you everything you want, everything you need not just to raise a child but to be happy. Because you deserve to be happy.”
“I know I do.”
“Think about what I’m offering you, Stella.”
“So you think it’s a lot compared to what you’re asking of me?”
“If you think it’s not enough, we can negotiate.”
“Like business people?” she asks. “Because this is just another business transaction to you?”
“Not true.”
I don’t understand why she’s being so difficult, why she’s making me feel like I’m doing something wrong without telling me what I’m doing wrong.
I draw a deep breath. “Like I said, if there’s anything about the contract you don’t like…”
“I already said I don’t like the whole contract,” Stella tells me.
“And I’m still trying to understand why.”
She looks away and falls silent. Why? Why won’t she help me understand? What is it she’s not telling me?
“Is it because I’m your boss?” I ask her. “Because you take your work seriously and you don’t want to mix your personal life with your career? If that’s the case, you can quit your job.”
“So no one will know you got your assistant pregnant?”
“No one will,” I promise her. “I’ll make sure no one bothers you and my child. Our child.”
Still, Stella doesn’t look convinced. “I don’t want to quit my job.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “But didn’t you say you wanted to be a mother more than anything?”
“I don’t remember saying that.”
“You wrote it down in your journal. You said you wanted your own child. You said…”
I stop as I realize what I’ve just said – something I shouldn’t have. I regret it the moment I see the look of dismay on Stella’s face.
Fuck.
She stands up. “You read my journal? How? When?”
I sigh. No use lying about it now.
“You left it on your desk that night when you came back to the office after work,” I tell her.
“And you just read it? How could you?”
I don’t have any excuse for that behavior so I say nothing.
“Wait. So you read my journal?” Stella starts to pace the floor. “Is that why you suddenly started acting like you cared about me? Is that why you suddenly decided to bring me along to Switzerland? Because you knew I wanted to travel?”
“That’s not why.”
But she’s not listening.
“Is that why you had that chef make those dumplings for me, knowing my mother used to make them? Is that why you knew I didn’t have any friends?” She gasps. “Is that why you used that blindfold on me and fucked me in front of the mirror? I wrote about that, didn’t I?”
I don’t answer.
She narrows her eyes at me. “Is that why you had sex with me? Because you knew I was a virgin and felt sorry for me? Because you knew I would like it?”