It’s a carry-in, carry-out situation, woman-wise.
Just make sure she knows she’s got to leave you alone when you’re feeling creative or need your rest. *eggplant emoji*
* * *
Zack: You text faster than anyone I’ve ever met.
* * *
Chip: Thank you. Some people make beautiful music, some people have super-speed thumbs. We all have our gifts. Anything else you need, brother?
* * *
Zack: Um…no. I don’t think so.
* * *
Chip: Well, I do. What’s that dot dot dot about? That dot dot dot tells me there’s something you need, but you’re too nice to ask for it. This is a bad habit you have to break right now, my friend. You’re not a background player anymore. You’re the main attraction, and the main attraction gets everything he needs to be his best creative self.
Especially when he’s about to start recording his first solo album.
I’m a good mind reader, but every once in a while, you’re going to have to speak up and help me fill in the blanks.
* * *
Zack: It’s nothing. At least nothing that’s going to happen in the middle of nowhere.
* * *
Chip: Um, no. Don’t underestimate me like that. I have connections, and you’ve got money. Together we’re unstoppable. Tell me what you want, and I’ll wave my magic wand. I have personal chefs and masseuses and rush-delivery people on call, and if one of them can’t get you what you need, I’ll run it up to you myself. The retreat’s only a four-hour drive from my office in Manhattan, and I’ve been looking for an excuse to get some fresh country air.
* * *
Zack: Thanks so much, but it’s nothing like that.
* * *
Chip: Then what is it? You might as well tell me because I’m not going to give up until I get it out of you. They don’t call me the Pit Bull for nothing, you know.
* * *
Zack: I just… I think I might need to talk to someone. Professionally.
* * *
Chip: On it. And good for you for knowing when to ask for help. That takes real courage, and I am so down with that.
So what kind of professionally are we talking about? What kind of demons are you wrestling with, my man?
Booze? Drugs? Porn? General bad thoughts?
I don’t mean to pry, and this will stay between the two of us, but to get you the right kind of help, I need to know where to cast my net. But don’t worry, whatever it is, I’m going to find someone kick ass and get them headed your way. Depending on availability, we might even be able to arrange for a therapist to be with you for the entire two weeks. Could get pricey, but it’s worth it if it’s what you need to stay on track, right?
* * *
Zack: I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s nothing like that. Nothing serious. I’ve just been acting out of character since I quit the band, more impulsive than usual about some pretty serious stuff. It got me to wondering if I might need help.
* * *
Chip: Okay. What kind of serious stuff? Because honestly, impulsive doesn’t sound so bad. Impulsive energy is creative energy, excited energy, you know?
This could be a good thing! Especially for you, my man. You know how jazzed I am to work with you, don’t doubt it for a second, but a part of what I struggled with while I was shopping this project is the way you’re perceived in the industry.
You’re the good guy. And while we all love hiring the good guy to fill out the band, executives want something edgier in a solo act. They don’t know how to market the good guy unless he’s a teenager making girls in pigtails squeal in shopping malls, you know? Depending on the flavor, this little bit of crazy could be just what we’re looking for!
* * *
Zack: I decided to try for a baby with a woman I barely know.
* * *
Chip: *wide-eyed emoji*
* * *
Zack: I know. She’s a friend of a friend, and I know a lot about her, and I’m positive she’ll make an amazing mother. But the fact is I don’t have a history or a relationship with her. And no matter how much I’m enjoying her company or how intense the chemistry is, I have no idea if we’re going to be able to get along for the next twenty-four hours, let alone the twenty-whatever years it takes to raise a person.
* * *
Chip: Okay. Shit.
I was literally speechless there for a second, and that never happens.
Wow.
Fuck.
Okay, first up, you’re only going to be on the hook for child support for eighteen years. Still a long time, but not two full decades or more, so you can put that out of your head.
* * *
Zack: I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about making sure my kid has two parents who get along, even if they don’t live in the same house or have a conventional relationship.