Nanny with Benefits

I stood up and helped her into her seat. The waiter came over to take our orders, and all I wanted was for it to be over. Not the relationship, but the waiting to know. I had to know.

“You look beautiful, Karly. The reason we’re here is I can sense something’s wrong. Something has changed in you, and I don’t know what’s going on. I really need you to tell me because I’ve been racking my brain for an answer.”

“I can’t tell you at the moment. I just need some more time. It’s not you. It’s me.”

Wow. I was dumbfounded. I’d waited all day and hadn’t been able to concentrate on work. She had fed my mind all day long. Now she wasn’t going to tell me. Fuck. I was upset and pissed off.

“You can’t or won’t?” I asked, hoping she’d give in to me.

“I just need some more time.” Her eyes glowed and her beauty permeated right through me. I was in love with her, all of her, madly, deeply.

I didn’t want to get mad, so I did the next best thing I could think of. I pulled out my wallet and laid down a bundle of hundred-dollar bills. There might’ve been two grand there. I didn’t count it.

“Take the next few days off and sort it out. When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.” I couldn’t stand being there and not knowing what the fuck was happening. I gave her a last and I left.

She said nothing as I went. We’d only ordered wine and an entree, and I paid on the way out, using my credit card. I didn’t care about money. All I wanted was her, but I couldn’t force the words out of her. That just wasn’t my way. I’d have to wait until she was ready. I just hoped to God I wasn’t going to lose her. That would not be all right.

Getting home and being alone was the worst kind of lonely. I ordered Chinese takeout and tried to watch TV. There was some weird sci-fi movie where the aliens could telepathically control humans. It was strange and satisfying and helped my mind stay somewhere other than on Karly.

After that, I had a glass of wine. I was never the type of guy to drown my sorrows and be irresponsible. I couldn’t do it to my body or to Alexis. She deserved more than a disheveled man who needed a substance to fall back on. Eric had been there and done that in college, and it had been a sad mess that’d had to be cleaned up. When I’d found him lying in his own vomit, I had been convinced of the horribleness of the whole drinking and drug scene.

I’d always looked after my body, and I used to work out at the gym. Now I did it at home but mostly on the weekends. Mom had always expressed the importance of health to me from a young age, so I’d always known my body needed the right fuel to do what I wanted to do. Also, running a huge company took guts and determination, and it would never be done properly with a bad diet or substance abuse of any kind.

I opened my fortune cookie. “You will find love if you haven’t already.” I opened another. “Your mind needs a big rest this night.”

I laughed at the fortunes, which always seemed to be on par with my life. I had opened one right before Alexis had been born, and it had said, “Things are about to get busy. A new person will soon enter your life.”

I did as the fortune cookie instructed and went to bed. My mind couldn’t think anymore. It was totally spent. As I drifted off, I envisioned Karly’s beauty. Those mesmerizing eyes and those perfect, pouty lips entertained me. I was definitely in trouble. She had me, hook, line, and sinker. There was no going back once my heart made up its mind, and it had.

Chapter 26

Karly

I was torn. I hadn’t had the courage to say the words to him. I was afraid he’d be mad at me or even reject me. I loved him more than the air I breathed, which was why I found it so hard to say my truth: a baby was on the way.

I couldn’t explain how my heart had felt like it had lost him the other night when we’d met for dinner. It was as if my breath had stopped and I’d been frozen in place, unable to spit out the words he deserved to hear. He deserved everything, the truth that I was pregnant and the best love I could give to him should he accept the predicament I—we—now found ourselves in.

When I’d broken up with Keith, it had been easy. I hadn’t missed that man at all. I had been relieved when I’d finally broken free from him after all that time. But with Damon, I was terrified of losing the love he had for me. No man had ever wanted me or needed me like he did. It was new and made me vulnerable. It was the first time I’d experienced true love, real love.