While She Sleeps

“You can’t want to know parts of me and not give me parts of you,” she speaks, drawing my attention back to her. She’s right. I know that. But I can’t do this now. Pushing off the chair, I head for the door. I need to get out of this room that smells like her. Like promises and vows, I can never offer her.

I thought I could do this. I figured I could be the man who can offer her a forever, but I know I can’t. She needs the prince, not a broken one, but someone who’s good, who has light in his life. Mine is drenched in darkness.

Before I close the door, she calls out to me. “You can’t hide forever, Logan.” Her words pierce me right in the chest, lancing my heart, searing my veins. But I don’t respond. Instead, I just close the door, locking it before I make my way downstairs.

When I reach the kitchen, I grab a mug and fill it with black coffee, then I make my way outside. Settling on the bench, I sip the hot liquid while staring out at the trees. There’s not much close by, and the silence is welcome. I hear banging from upstairs, and I know it’s Vera once again trying to get my attention, but I need to be away from her for a while.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been around anyone for this amount of time, and having her so close, knowing she’s right there, is messing with my head. I’m so used to solitude that her voice breaks through the silence, reminding me of all I’ve done wrong.

Perhaps that’s why I came up here. Hiding away from the guilt that seemed to follow me all those years ago. I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it is. When I told Dax I’d take Vera, I thought it would be easy. Keep her here for a few weeks until my father is taken in, and then send her back home to Pine Lake.

But the more time I got to know her online, the more I read her messages, I know I can never let her go. She’s too young for me, too innocent. I doubt she’s even experienced half the things she fantasizes about; whereas, I’ve done far worse.

I sit back and think about her words once more. Pulling out my cell phone, I log into the website and pull up her profile. It’s still there, taunting me. I open the inbox and slowly read through each and every response she offered.

Her words soothe, but they also burn. They remind me that I’m so fucking broken, and I close my eyes for a moment, willing my body to stop reacting to her. I’ve never had a woman who could satisfy me. I can’t even fathom why, or what happened to me to make me so . . . depraved.

Perhaps I’m cursed. A prince cursed by a witch to forever live in darkness. And my princess is locked in a room where I can have her any time I want. But I would never force myself on her; she would need to ask me for it. And I know I’ll gladly offer it up. I could make her ultimate fantasies a reality, and I think that’s what scares her the most.

Because I know it scares the shit out of me too.

13

Vera

I’m lost in the book Logan left earlier when the door slides open, and he walks in with another tray. It’s late. The sky is completely black, and I can’t see much out the window.

“I’ve made something for dinner.” He doesn’t look at me as he sets it down, but he doesn’t leave after he’s done it either. Silence fills the space between us, which only frustrates me. I want him to talk to me. I need something. Living in this quiet is getting to me.

Pushing off the bed, I make my way toward him, stopping when I’m inches from him. The warmth of his body radiates through me, and my skin prickles with awareness. I think back to the moment I opened my eyes and saw him watching over me. His hand against the material of his crotch.

“Did you like it?” I mumble, looking up at him.

He avoids my gaze, but asks, “What?”

I take another step closer, which earns me a deep growl from the man who’s now shut his eyes. Glasses still frame his perfect lashes as they flutter against his cheeks. Dark, just like his hair, they’re fighting to stay down, and I ache to feel his gaze on me.

“Did you like seeing me asleep? Not moving, open for you. A lifeless doll for you to use as you please.” I’m poking the bear, arousing him to the point of his hands fisting at his sides. But he doesn’t dare open his eyes.