The pulse that thrums in my chest shoots down to my cock, and a groan is drawn from deep in my gut. I know this is wrong. I know this is not keeping her safe, but rather taking advantage, but I can’t help myself.
I close my eyes as pure adrenalin zaps through my veins, like an electric shock coursing through me from the top of my head down to my toes. They curl in my socks; the ache only intensifies the harder I press. Her tiny hand is so small compared to my cock. I picture her gripping it, stroking it.
“Fuck,” I hiss under my breath as I use her limp hand to jerk me off through the material of my jeans. I should stop, but I don’t. I never once claimed to be a good man, and this time it’s no different as pleasure seeps from the tip of my cock, wetting my jeans, the damp spot visible through the material.
My body locks and I squeeze her fingers around my shaft, the material causing friction to rub against the smooth flesh, and I come harder than I ever have before. I’m shuddering while holding onto her as if she were my lifeline. A buoy in the middle of an ocean of darkness, and she’s my only light. Guiding me to the shore. But I’m afraid — instead of her saving us both, I’ll drag us into the depths.
Guilt weighs heavily on me as I make coffee. It’s not even six in the morning, and I’m wide awake. Normally, I’d be out for a run, trying to forget the night before, but I didn’t want to leave Vera alone. When I went out to the store, I half expected her to have gotten away.
The clouds are gray and heavy as the light of dawn approaches. I sip my coffee on the porch, looking through the heavy tree trunks as I think about what I did last night. The moment I came, I slid out from where Vera was practically curled around me and left her alone.
I needed to clean up, but I also needed space from her. Having her so close, I lost control and did the one thing I never wanted to do to her. I used her as if she were nothing more than a toy. Perhaps she is, but I shouldn’t have done it.
I’m stronger than that.
At least, I thought I was.
My chest is tight with anxiety as I think about her waking and seeing her hand pleasuring me. I wanted so badly to offer her the same, but if I did, I would’ve woken her, and she would’ve been more afraid of me than she’s ever been.
“Logan!” Her screech is enough to have me nearly dropping my mug on the ground. But I hold fast and race inside. Pushing the door open, I find her on the bed, her body shaking and her eyes wide.
“What?” I rush to her side, needing to hold her once more. Even though I should stay far away from her, treat her as I would a stranger who’s just staying in my home for a short while, I can’t. “What’s wrong, Beauty?”
“I . . . I had a bad dream,” she mumbles into my shirt and tugs at the material, pulling me closer to her. “I thought . . . I didn’t . . . I was dying. I couldn’t breathe,” she tells me, and my chest tightens with concern I haven’t felt in a long while.
“What happened?” I ask her, lowering my voice to an almost-whisper as I take in her shaking form. Her tiny body curls into mine as she holds me. I wonder if she realizes what she’s doing. If this were any other day, she would be pushing me away, so this dream must’ve done a number on her.
“Your dad found me,” she finally chokes out through sobs that wrack her body. “I couldn’t get away.” Her whine does things to me that I should ignore, but I can’t stop glancing down at my sweatpants that have a clear bulge slowly appearing.
Fuck.
This girl is messing with my head more and more each day.
“You’re safe here,” I tell her, knowing he’s nowhere near this shithole town. That reminds me. I need to check in on her apartment. The security footage should bring back something. Surely.
If there’s one thing I know about Herbert Oakridge, it’s that he doesn’t fuck around. When he wants something, he doesn’t allow anything to stop him.
“Why would you take me? I was safe. I’d almost forgotten about you.” Her words slice right through to my very gut. My soul, the one that’s so black it’s pure fucking charcoal, aches at the thought of me hurting her just like my asshole of a father would.
“I needed you safe.”