Kissing Jenna (Big Sky 2)

“Man, it’s cold outside,” I say, shaking snowflakes out of my hair. Willa takes the coffees from me and sets them on the counter by the cash register. Grace and Hannah both come bouncing out from the back of the store.

“I’m buying these,” Grace announces, holding up a pair of shoes. “I’m fairly certain that I’ll be able to wear them after the pregnancy.”

“I didn’t know we were here to shop,” I say and take a sip of my coffee, then sigh with happiness.

“We always shop,” Grace says with a laugh. “But now we’re here to chat.”

“This is kind of an intervention,” Willa says.

“I know.” I sigh and take my coat off and hang it on the end of a nearby rack. “You guys aren’t exactly stealthy about these things.”

“We love you,” Grace says. “And we’re worried about you.”

“You haven’t said anything about Christian leaving. You’ve just worked yourself into exhaustion,” Hannah adds. “And that’s not healthy.”

“Why did he leave early?” Willa asks. “Did you fight?”

“No.” I sip my coffee. “His mom had a heart attack, and his sister came to fetch him.”

“So you’re still talking to him? Is his mom okay?”

“No, I’m not still talking to him.” I pace around the shop, unable to stand still. “He wanted me to come to L.A. after Christmas, but I told him no. My life is here, guys. What am I going to do, just follow him around? I can’t do that, I wouldn’t be able to respect myself. So, I told him the truth, that we always knew this had an expiration date, and it arrived earlier than we’d planned.”

“Wow,” Grace says. “And he said fuck that and swept you up into his arms and confessed his undying love and said that he’d make it all work out, right?”

I shake my head no.

“His sister was right. I don’t really know him, I only know what he showed me while he was here. I got to play make believe with the guy I thought was hot when I was a kid and now I have to move on.”

“Wait.” Hannah holds her hand up, stopping me. “Did she actually say that?”

“Pretty much.”

“Was Christian there when she said it?”

“No.” I toss my empty coffee cup into the garbage and immediately wish for more. “He was packing his things so he could go back to his fancy life in L.A. You guys, this is all for the best. I love my life here. This is my home.”

“But you’re in love,” Grace says softly, her eyes full of tears.

“Sometimes, being in love isn’t enough.” I shrug. “And I love you all for being worried about me, but I’m going to be okay. I’m sad, that’s for sure. And I’m a little irritated with myself for falling for him in the first place.”

“Don’t do that,” Willa says, reaching out to take my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up for falling in love. It doesn’t happen often, and it seemed like he was really good to you.”

“He was.” Tears threaten again. “But I just don’t see how something can work between us. We’re from two different universes, you guys. He’s a superstar who lives in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot house in Beverly Hills. He jets all over the world, in a private plane, I might add—”

“Your brother has a private plane,” Hannah interjects. “I’ve been on it. It’s awesome.”

“It’s not mine. And I don’t identify with a lot of Max’s life either. I’m not into designer things. I love pretty shoes, but I couldn’t tell the difference between Chanel and Gucci to save my life.”

“I can help with that,” Willa says with a grin. “I’d be happy to.”

“You know what I’m trying to say.” I sigh, the fight having gone out of me. “I am not celebrity wife material, and Christian deserves that.”

“Seems to me, Christian deserves to be happy with whoever sets his soul on fire,” Grace says with a shrug. “There are celebrities who are married to civilians. Matt Damon and his wife have like a dozen kids.”

“You can hire help with your properties,” Hannah says. “And it’s not like Christian is filming or promoting all the damn time. There’s plenty of time that he’s off and can be here with you. You can follow each other around.”

“I love you guys. I do. So much. But you aren’t going to fix this.” But they do have good points that I’ve considered myself the past couple of days.

But isn’t it too late?

“Well, we tried,” Hannah replies and pulls me in for a big hug. “And we’re always here for you, no matter what.”

“Thank you.”

Once in my car, I check my phone and frown when I see that I missed a text from Christian. It’s simple.

Please talk to me. I miss you.

God, I miss him, too. So much. And I’m not convinced that I did the right thing. I reacted to Nina, and I admit that I was scared of the idea of what life would look like once Christian left. I had gotten so good at living in the moment that I panicked when it came to thinking ahead.