“Maybe that’s true,” I said, my voice thick with tears, “But you are everything to me. You always have been. You always will be. You are and you will always be the only one for me. Since the moment I saw you, I’ve been saving myself for you. And I knew that it might never happen. But I didn’t fucking care. Because I am yours, Anika. Your husband, your brother, yours. No matter how you feel about me.”
“Then why?” She cried. “Why, Maksim? Why didn’t you just wake me, tell me you were going to leave me like that, to face all that shame, all that laughter. Why?”
“Because I didn’t know if my plan would work. I don’t know why you didn’t see my note, although it did not explain. I’m sorry. I had to be sure. Don’t you see? I couldn’t get your hopes up, Anika, when the chances of success were so slim.”
“But where did you go? Why did you have to leave?”
“For us, Anika. I had to leave for us. All will be clear, I promise, but not right now. This has to be my secret, for a little longer. I’m waiting for a messenger, and if he brings the news I’m expecting, this whole thing will be blown apart. Just trust me.”
For a long time, she said nothing. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me, letting my tears spill into the soft warmth of her hips and thighs. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried, if I ever had. But if ever there was a moment to show my true self, this was it. Everything was on the line. My heart, my future, my reason for living.
I felt her inhale deeply and then she exhaled, slowly, carefully, blowing out a breath that told me her lips were trembling. And finally, she wrapped her arms around me, running her fingertips through my hair.
Thank the fucking lord, I thought, as I wiped my cheeks on her torn tunic. I looked up at her and found her eyes waiting for me, soft and welcoming. But still in need of some serious explanations.
“I need to sleep. And I need you with me,” I said. “I promise that once I’ve got my head back on straight, I’ll explain it all. Everything.”
She moved to pull away from me, shaking her head furiously. “There’s no way I’m going back in there, Maksim. I am not going back to that life. I risked my own skin to get this far. I’m not turning back now.”
I rubbed my face, inhaling against my palms. I loved the fuck out of her but goddamn it she could frustrate me like nothing else. “Anika,” I said, face to my hands. “Seriously.”
“No! No way.”
Her tone was playful now. That spoiled, wonderful bratty playfulness that I loved so fucking much. Or usually did, anyway. Right now, I was just so goddamned tired, I didn’t know what I loved and what I hated.
“I’ve been riding to get back to you for twenty-four hours, straight,” I said, positioning my chin on her belly and gazing up at her. She looked so beautiful with the stars behind her, with the fireflies around us. So beautiful that I completely forgot what I’d planned to say next.
She hadn’t forgotten, though. “And?” She actually put her hand on her hip. “And?”
“Anika,” I growled, in a warning this time.
“Oh no, no, no,” she sassed. “Don’t you Anika me.”
“Fuck it,” I said, standing up and hoisting her over my shoulder. “Enough talk. We’re going inside.”
She fought me with such fury that I couldn’t help myself from giving her a few firm swats on that fantastic ass of hers. She beat my back as I carried her along. I let her squirm it out.
“Makes shit for difference to me if you want to use up all that energy on a fight you’re not going to win.”
Carrying her back through the kitchens, I avoided the place where I’d killed her attacker and instead went through the guard’s dining room. There, sprawled out like over-fed bears, were two of my best men, with cold plates of food in front of them. Both of them snoring.
“That your handwork?” I asked as I carried her up a side passageway that led directly to her rooms.
“Pfft. No,” she said, in a way that said yes.
“So, we can add a little light drugging to your list of skills?”
“Only because you left me!”
“You little brat.”
She growled and added some half-hearted punches against my lower back. “I hate you!” I could hear the smile in her voice now, buried under some anger. It was enough for me for the time being. Forgiveness would take time, and as long as I had her in my arms, I felt like I was on my way there.