“We don’t want to be here… in this town… with him.” Their eyes fall behind me to where I know Father’s talking on his cell phone. You’ll never hear what he’s discussing, but I know he’s there without looking.
Kissing my cheek, they both leave. Leaving me standing a short distance from where she is… in the ground.
“They left. That was fast.” His cell slides into his pocket, and my eyes avert back to where she’s buried. I don’t want to leave her.
“They didn’t want to be around you a second longer than is absolutely necessary.”
Father smirks at my words. “It’s not like I could sell their asses. No one would pay. I’d have to give them away or maybe pay for them to be taken.” He laughs, and it’s dark and unnerving. Shaking my head, I walk to my car. He says my name once, and I ignore him, driving straight to the one place I know I shouldn’t. But as I pull up and see her sitting on the dirt, her mocha eyes lifting to mine, I know this was definitely the right choice. Saskia’s sitting in the dirt playing with a little boy. She stands to brush the dirt away from her bottom when she sees me. Getting out of the car I walk toward her, her eyes leave mine to look down at the child then back to me.
“Ryken.” She says my name like she can breathe life back into me. Who has that power? “Why are you here?”
Shaking my head, I don’t even know. “I kind of just drove here…” I say, looking around.
She wipes at her ass again, then leans down to the child. “I’ll play later, okay? Go back home and have some lunch.”
The little boy nods his head smiling big at her. Then runs off to the trailer not far from hers. Her hands wipe again—she does this when she’s self-conscious, this much I’ve worked out. I wonder why, though? She’s prettier than any other girl I’ve ever seen. It’s not just in her Barbie doll features, which let’s be honest, are perfect. It’s everything. Especially those eyes.
“You need to stop that.”
Her nose scrunches at my words. She wipes at her face brushing her hair away, then her hands pause before she goes to wipe her hands on her legs.
“You have something…” I point to my nose, then step forward and touch hers, wiping the dirt away from her nose. Her breath hitches and she shakes her head at me.
“Do you need something?”
My hand drops back next to me. “Just some company.”
Saskia nods her head then steps back and turns to sit on her step. I walk next to her, sitting so our thighs touch. Not on purpose.
“Was today the day?” Her eyes roam me and I like it. She continues with, “All black,” and she waves to my clothes.
I unbutton the top button while she waits for me to answer. “It was.”
“I’m sorry. You must miss her.” Her thigh rubs mine as she bounces her leg. My hand touches my ring that my mother gave me, the one with the emerald diamond set in the white gold. It’s meant to mean success in love and life. I wonder if I should have given it to her instead of the other way around.
“Yeah,” is all I can manage to say, my voice raspy. Her shorts are short, her legs exposed. It’s occupying my mind. Keeping it away from other things. She’s a great distraction.
“Do you want to do something?”
“Like what?”
She stands to sever the connection of our legs. “You want to forget, right?”
I nod my head, and she smiles, looking me up and down. “Maybe not so much dressed the way you are, but I’m sure we can fix that.” She starts walking behind her trailer then into the trees in her bare feet, and I follow idly behind her. She stops at a waterhole, where a rope is dangling from a tree, and I watch in fascination as she removes her shirt and climbs it. She has a swimming top on, plus her shorts. Saskia’s smile is enormous. She whistles loudly as she holds onto the rope swinging from the tree, and then she takes off somersaulting into the water. I watch and wait for her to come up for air. Her blonde hair falls out of her face, and she’s smiling, so fucking brightly I can’t take my eyes off of her.
CONFESSION #2
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been one week since my last confession.”
Hands clenched and eyes down. I wait to see how the words will leave my mouth now I’m in the confessional.
The priest is waiting, so he can offer me penance. What a fool.
“Today I fell further down the rabbit hole I wasn’t invited into. Today I fell in love. But let me tell you something, Father, I’m not sure if I should kill the person I love.”