It was an awful time. She didn’t stop complaining about the bugs, the hot, the cold, the wind, any fucking thing she could think of she complained about. I could have smothered her that one night we stayed.
Barbie raises her eyebrows in surprise. “No way! You didn’t.” She doesn’t believe her. I didn’t when she said she’d come either.
“Yep, stayed in a tent and everything. Wouldn’t have done it for anybody else but Ryken, though.”
“You two look happy,” Stiles states, and as he says it, he looks instantly at me.
Livia leans on me her head on my shoulder. “We are.”
We are. And we aren’t.
It’s a funny thing falling in love with someone unexpected. Especially, when you have eyes for someone else. Even more so when you know you want that other person more than the one you’re with, but there’s nothing you can do about it.
CONFESSION #4
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been… I don’t know how long since my last confession.”
The priest’s breathing picks up—he knows it’s me again and I smirk.
“My plan’s in place. Talking myself out of it isn’t working. Death seems to be inevitable.”
Before the priest can answer, I disappear from the confessional as fast as my legs will carry me. Once again, I get no absolution.
Chapter 16
Saskia
I hadn’t seen him for two weeks straight thanks to the holidays, but seeing him last night changed things. Changed my perspective and will so again when school starts tomorrow. Stiles rubs my back as I lay on his bed on my belly, flicking through the channels trying to decide what to watch. He’s so attentive. It confuses me in every way. We haven’t had sex. He hasn’t pushed it or even tried to remove my clothes. I’m afraid to be the first one to make a move because I want to stay the person he sees when he looks at me. Like I’m more than my mother’s daughter. He gives me hope. He sees me for more than I truly am. Turning over, he goes to remove his hand from my back. Reaching for it, I bring it back down between my breasts. He’s leaning over watching me, just not on me. He’s on his side pressed against my side.
“I really like you, Stiles.”
He smiles and leans down to kiss my lips. Nothing’s been mentioned about our dinner the night before. He’s never brought up Ryken again since that one time he asked me if I liked him. Lying to him isn’t something I want to do. He’s too good for that and deserves way more.
His lips trace my lips, leaving soft kisses in his wake as his hand stays still on my chest. I beg him silently to move it, to move on me. Needing him. It’s what I want. To feel. We’re more than just feather touching and heated kisses. He’s too gentle with me, too damn sweet. Some part of me wants the bad to come out and play. Much like Ryken was, with his controlling ways in the bedroom, because that was a huge turn on for me. It was like he knew what I wanted without me even saying anything. Stiles takes his time, his movements are thought out and calculated. It even feels like everything is timed to perfection, but for me, it doesn’t do anything but make me frustrated. He doesn’t want to rush. A part of me respects what he’s trying to do, but another part of me hates it.
“I like you, too, Saskia.” He lifts his head to look at me.
“Do you want me, Stiles?”
His eyes widen like he can’t believe I’ve even said that. Without saying anything, he leans down and kisses me once again, but this time with more force. Stiles removes his hand from my chest, picking up my other hand he places it over his already hard cock. He lifts up just enough to speak to me. “Of course I do.”
Pushing him down, so he’s on his back, I climb on top of him. He smiles brightly with his teeth shining as he looks up at me.
“Good, because I think we should progress our relationship. Don’t you?”
Stiles doesn’t answer straight away, and at first, that makes me nervous until I can feel how hard he is underneath me. He wants me just as much as I want him.
“Are you sure?”
I nod my head. “You won’t hurt me.” At least that’s what I hope. I had read and was told by Livia before she stopped speaking to me as often, that sex only gets better after the first time. I want it again so I can see whether this is truthful or not. A simple rub from him makes me anxious for more.
“But you’re a…”
I shake my head and lean down so I can kiss his nose. He closes his eyes then reopens them.