“My man?” I ask her confused.
“Ryken.”
Oh… words struggle to leave my lips, but they manage to come out in a shaky breath. “No. We aren’t… I mean, we aren’t…”
She waves at me not to worry. “He actually took me a few years ago.”
My eyes bulge at her words. “Ryken took you?”
She nods, confirming it. “Look, I know you probably think everything’s fucked right now. But just remember, it could be worse. You could still be there, in that place, with her.” I shiver at her words.
“I just want to be me. Without them, you know?”
She offers me a sad smile. “He’s going to look for you.”
“I know, but I’m not sure if I’ll let him find me.”
“You may not get a choice in that matter. He’s resourceful. He’s the king for a reason, Saskia.” She walks off waving goodnight, leaving me on her couch. With nothing but the clothes on my back.
SHE NUDGES ME IN THE morning waking me up. I’ve hardly slept. Only fell asleep once the sun actually rose. I don’t have my pills and my head spun for most of the night. I open my eyes to see Cecilia looking down at me. “You need to move, they’re here.” I move fast, my ribs crying out when I do. She passes me a pair of shoes, and I slide them on, then go to the window at the back. She’s at her door as a knock comes, and I slide my feet out first then go to touch the ground, but hands wrap around me lifting me up. I go to scream, to hit the person, but Ryken’s dark eyes land on mine, and I can see the storm behind them. Even with all the anger, the hate, he has in them, I can see myself in there as well and instantly relax at his touch.
His touch makes me feel like I’ve overdosed.
It fucks with me more than it should, and it instantly calms my erratic heart.
“You ran, Barbie, you ran from me when you shouldn’t have.” His words make me horny, as I slide down the front of him. Every inch I feel of him.
“Go back to Livia, your pregnant fiancée,” I sneer at him.
He pushes me against the wall, my hands still on the edge of the window. “I came for you, Barbie.” Trying to look away from his eyes is hard, even broken he’s still perfect.
“I didn’t need you to.” I push against him, and his face contorts in pain. Then I realize he was just beaten, and here I am hurting him even more. “You killed a man,” I say in a smaller voice. I’ll have nightmares forever over that. “His life wasn’t worth mine.”
He shakes his head staying on me. “It was, and it will always be.”
“Boss.”
Ryken looks past me into the room. He pulls my head forward, and I lay it on his neck. He smells of everything I miss. Everything I want but shouldn’t have. I don’t even hear him speak as I lay there listening to him breathe, and talk, while he has hold of me. I could almost fall asleep on the spot I’m in now. I feel sedated. Calm. Happy.
“Saskia.” I pull my head up to see Cecilia looking at me through the window. “Do you want to go with them?”
Quinn is standing close to her. In Ryken’s arms, I’m his, so I simply nod my head. He pulls me along making sure we stay connected even when we slide into the back of his car.
He puts me on his lap, and I lay on him like he’s everything. That his presence alone can soothe everything in me. That’s the problem with Ryken Lord, he makes me forget who I am, and all my morals go right out the door when he’s near. He has that much power over me that I can finally breathe when he isn’t near, I realize what he does to me. And that’s when I try to escape.
His hand runs down my hair, and he brushes it with his fingers repeatedly. He doesn’t ask me to move, even when Quinn turns the corner and I feel his breathing becoming deeper as I apply pressure to his chest. He just stays where he is, and I stay where I am unable to move off him. Because then if I did, I would know this isn’t the place where I should be. It should be anywhere but here.
We drive for what seems like hours when in reality it’s probably only one. I stay where I am not uttering a word, just lying on his neck trying to think of anything but him. That’s next to impossible for me to do. So for once I just enjoy it. It’s the small things in life we’re meant to enjoy, but we fail at so many of them.