Fuck, I miss you. You awake?
I smile at his message and lay the phone down next to me. I still don’t understand us. Us as an actual us is difficult for me to comprehend. Because I’ve never really been an us. With Stiles, we were a couple, yes, but I never honestly felt like there was an us, and I was entirely his. He was comfortable, even pleasant to be around. My head wishes that it was him I fell for. But my heart knows better. My heart knows the truth.
Getting up, I dress and get ready for the day. I have to start taking my life back now that I know Amy isn’t coming for me again. Hearing he killed her was a bit much. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know he was capable of such things, it’s just a matter of if I can handle knowing that’s what he does. Not to mention his whole business is about collecting girls—girls that have no family or life—for him to take with him to sell to other men. That thought alone freaks me the fuck out.
Walking down the stairs, I stop at the bottom step, because standing at the glass door is my mother. She’s watching me, and she looks good, better than she has in a long time. I’m hesitant to open that door to let her in.
What if she says something I don’t want to hear?
Does something that could set me back?
She offers me a smile as I stay where I am, unable to move.
Snapping out of my daze, I step toward her, unlocking the door and let her come inside, shutting it behind her. She looks around then turns back to face me. It feels weird to have her in the same room as me and sober.
“I didn’t think you would let me in.”
I shrug my shoulders, not really knowing what she wants from me. “You were at the door.”
She looks at it then back to me. “I’m glad to see you up and moving around. Does it have to do with that boy?”
I don’t have to tell her anything, but I do anyway. “No, but I am seeing him.”
“I’ve heard of his family… well, his father and what he used to do. Are you safe with him?”
If only she knew. I was never safe with him to begin with. It’s the main reason he wanted me to stay away. It never worked, and completely changed my life. But I think I’ve come out stronger because of it. And it wasn’t his fault, not really. I chose to follow him. He didn’t have to try to protect me, but he couldn’t anyway.
“We’ll be fine.”
She nods her head. “I was hoping you’d like to get to know me, and I get to know you. It’s funny, you know… I look at the girl you are now, and I wonder how you got there. I know it wasn’t from me ‘cause I was of no help at all. But I would really like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you?”
My hands touch my skirt, brushing it down before I look back up to her to see a nervous expression on her face. She’s afraid I’ll say no.
“That would be great.”
She smiles, and she doesn’t push it as she walks out the door but continues smiling.
CONFESSION #11
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been… I don’t know how long since my last confession.”
I hear the priest move on his seat. The sound of his clerical cassock rustles around with his movements.
I’m quite sure he detests my visits, I know I would if I was him. A broad smirk covers my face at that thought.
“They have no idea. No fucking idea they have a rat. Do you think I’m as clever as the worst of the worst? No, don’t answer that. Maybe I’m just the fucking smartest. Either way, they’ll never fucking know what hit them. Never.”
I race out of the confessional and out of the church.
Abso-fucking-lution? I don’t care about it and never did.
Chapter Twenty
Ryken
Michael’s standing in front of me, his hands brushing off the food he’s just eaten as he looks up to me. His MC brothers all sit behind him, as I pull out the seat in front of him with Quinn sitting next to me. “You called this meeting. What for?” he asks, lighting his cigarette then blowing smoke toward us.
“Seems we have some business to discuss.” He continues to smoke. “You wouldn’t think it would be smart to try to threaten those around me, would you, Michael?”
He looks at me with pinched eyebrows. “What are you saying, Boss.” He leans forward taking another long draw on his cigarette then blowing out the smoke in rings. “You aren’t accusing me of anything there, are you?”