I’d completely forgotten about his accident.
Running down the bottom of his spine like a zip is a long scar. Surgeons have cut into him here, and I remember him saying he has titanium plates screwed into the bone. There are another two scars on his right hip, deep scars, maybe where they took bone grafts, and a variety of other scars, turned a light pink with age.
“Oh, Marc,” I say, running my fingers lightly over them.
“Quite the Frankenstein’s monster,” he replies, his head dipped.
“It’s amazing,” I tell him, breathless with wonder. “To think what they can do.”
“I guess.” He turns his head, although he doesn’t meet my eyes.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through it. I wish I could have been there for you.” I can’t bear to think of the pain he must have been in. How difficult it must have been to get walking again.
I move up close to him, slide my arms around his waist, and rest my cheek on his back.
He lowers one hand and rests it over mine for a moment, and then he turns and wraps his arms around me. Surprised, I hug him tightly, sensing he needs the comfort, and we stay like that for a long time, the hot water pouring over us, steam curling up into the air. Eventually, he slides a hand under my chin, and lifts it so I’m looking into his eyes. Then he lowers his head and kisses me. It’s a sweet kiss, just a press of his lips to mine, but for some reason my eyes prick with tears.
“Come here,” he says, his husky voice suggesting he’s not untouched by the moment. He turns me so I’m under the hot water again and rinses the conditioner out of my hair. Then he switches off the hot water, and we go out and dry ourselves off.
Marc doesn’t speak again, and eventually he goes out and starts getting dressed. I stay in and comb my hair, studying my reflection while I do and thinking about how he held me. Something I said got to him. What did I say? I’m so sorry you had to go through it. I wish I could have been there for you. Maybe it made him think about Mel, and how things went wrong between them. It must have been so hard for him, having her pull away at the time he needed her the most.
It’s the first time I’ve ever really thought about the “in sickness and in health” part of marriage vows, and it makes me think about my relationship with Daniel while I get ready. If you can call it a relationship. It’s only now I realize what little depth it had. We led separate lives, and even though he left his wife for a while, it didn’t really change anything between us. We were like strangers living in the same house while he stayed with me. There was no intimacy, no real affection. All along, I thought the problem was with me, but for the first time I think maybe it was Daniel who was the cold one. I think he left his wife because he could boast to his friends that he was dating a younger woman, and he thought it would be exciting, but in reality we didn’t connect at all. Even though I’ve only had a few hours with Marc, I feel closer to him than I did with Daniel, who lived with me for six months. How strange. I just didn’t realize at the time.
I put on some makeup, and by the time I go into the bedroom, Marc is dressed, the bed is made, and he’s sitting back against the pillow, legs crossed at the ankles, reading on his phone.
He glances up as I come out and lowers the phone, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he watches me get dressed. A small smile plays on his lips as I pull on my panties and do up my bra. I don’t say anything either, conscious he enjoys watching me. Instead, I pull on my jeans and sweater, then stand in front of the mirror and start drying my hair with the hairdryer.
I wonder if he still loves Mel, or if what she did destroyed any affection he had for her. The thought plays on my mind, and when I eventually finish my hair and start trying to wrangle it into a ponytail, I say to him, “Do you miss Mel?”
“Why do you ask that?”
I shrug, wrapping an elastic around the strands that fight hard to escape. “Just wondered.”
He gets up then, comes over, turns me to face him, and slides his arms around me.
“No,” he says, just the one word, very Marc. And then he kisses me again.
When he eventually pulls back, I say, “I didn’t expect this while we were away.”