Keira wasn’t sure this last part was true. Cody would always carry that scar on his conscience—it was the way he was made.
“And I no longer love Mandy,” Cody went on. “At least...not that way. She’ll always be a good friend—you can’t wipe out thirty-seven years of friendship—but that’s all. So I don’t hate Callahan, either.” He hesitated, drew a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “I just envy him.”
A tiny sound of pain escaped Keira, and she drew her hand away as she averted her face, wanting to hide from Cody how much it hurt to think....
“No,” he said, capturing her chin and forcing her to look at him. “I don’t envy him Mandy. Not anymore.” His blue eyes darkened. “I just envy what he has with her. It’s what I’ve always wanted, but never thought I’d find after I lost her.”
He released Keira’s chin, and his fingers slid up, over the curve of her cheek, brushing the curls away from her face before sliding back and tracing the shell of her ear. Keira shuddered at the unexpectedly sensual touch and caught her breath. She wanted to close her eyes, to let herself just feel, but something in his eyes held her spellbound.
“And then...” he whispered, his voice dark and deep, his fingers trailing down her neck to the hollow of her throat where a pulse beat wildly. “And then I met you. And I realized that’s what I want to have...with you.”
Keira couldn’t take it in at first, but it was all there in his face. Love and longing, possessiveness and...hope. She caught her breath again, and this time her eyes closed against the tumult of emotions that swamped her. He loves me, she told herself, and the moment was sweeter than she’d ever imagined it could be.
She leaned toward him, but he didn’t kiss her as she’d expected. He didn’t even draw her into his arms. Her eyes flew open, and she saw he was waiting—waiting for a word from her that she felt the same way.
Cody had bared his soul to her. Could she be any less honest with him? “When I first met Mandy,” she confessed in a low voice, “all I could think about was how much I wished I could have what she had. That I could love someone the way she did. Then later, when I saw Callahan with her, saw the way he loved her with nothing held back, I thought to myself, ‘Cody would love like that.’ And even though I wouldn’t admit it to myself then, I wanted to be loved that way...by you.”
She knew her heart was in her eyes, but somehow it didn’t matter. If she could trust him with her life—and she did—she could trust him with her heart. “Love me,” she whispered. “Please...”
Then she was in his arms, and it was like the first time he’d kissed her. Desire flashed to life, and Keira exulted in the knowledge that he wanted her this much, but that he’d been strong enough to hold himself back...until now.
He stood, pulling her to her feet with him, just looking down at her for a long moment, his hand caressing her cheek. Then he bent and swept her into his arms. At her faint protest he smiled at her, his eyes blazing, and carried her into her bedroom. Keira’s hands crept up around his neck, and for the first time in her life, she accepted that it was okay to feel small and helpless—but only in Cody’s arms. He laid her on the bed and followed her down, his body hard and urgent.
Chapter 13
Cody’s hands were caressing her everywhere. Strong hands, but curiously gentle at the same time, and Keira knew he was remembering the bruises that had long since faded, determined there would never be another. Not from him.
She didn’t care about that. She just loved what it said about him.
Since he couldn’t be, she became the aggressor, tugging his shirt from his jeans, popping the buttons free with an impatience she didn’t recognize in herself, but didn’t question. She wanted his bare skin beneath her hands, wanted to glide her fingertips over his taut muscles, wanted to make him tremble as he fought for control...and lost it.
His belt was next, then the zipper of his jeans. She couldn’t suppress a gasp as she freed him: hard, throbbing and impossibly large. She stroked him, hesitantly at first, but with a stronger, firmer grip as she gained courage, loving the way he swelled even larger and the way her touch made his breath rasp in his throat.