King's Ransom (Man on a Mission 2)

But she would also be admitting...accepting...they would never have a child together. Not ever. She loved Andre with everything in her, but she wouldn’t deliberately bring an illegitimate child into the world. Maybe the world didn’t care anymore, but she did, and she couldn’t do that to her child. Their child.

And that meant she couldn’t go to Andre without some kind of birth control, because she could never have an abortion. It didn’t have anything to do with her personal beliefs about a woman’s choice, and she would never judge another woman who made different choices for her life. It was just that for her it wasn’t an option—if she conceived, she would bear the child. She knew that about herself, had known it since she was eighteen when she’d faced that possibility. She and Andre hadn’t used anything their first night together—birth control had been the last thing on their minds back then.

But she wasn’t an innocent eighteen anymore. She was twenty-nine, and she knew better than to take that kind of risk again. Then she thought, I don’t even know what kinds of birth control are available here in Zakhar, if any. Zakhar is fifty years behind the times in so many ways, maybe they don’t even sell condoms over the counter. Maybe the patches, pills and shots available to women in the United States aren’t offered here, either, not to mention all the other options.

She wasn’t on any kind of birth control now. She wasn’t sexually active, and until Andre had reentered her life she’d had no intention of being sexually active, so she wasn’t prepared to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Unwanted pregnancy. That’s a laugh. If I were pregnant with Andre’s child it wouldn’t be unwanted. But it would break my heart under the circumstances.

No, she couldn’t go to Andre through the secret passageway until she was protected. And that meant either finding a doctor here in Drago, or waiting until she could see her own gynecologist in Los Angeles. And no way did she want to wait weeks before—

Then it occurred to her. Sabrina had an ob-gyn here in Drago. Juliana couldn’t be certain, but Sabrina’s ob-gyn was probably one of the few female doctors available, not only in Drago, but in all of Zakhar. I need to get that name from Bree tomorrow, and see if I can make an appointment.

* * *

Andre couldn’t sleep waiting for Juliana to come to him that night. He lay on his back in his lonely bed, watching the shadows cross the room as the moon moved across the night sky, watching the tapestry against the far wall. But it never moved, never so much as twitched.

He’d been so sure she would come to him. Why? Why were you so sure? Because of the way she’d looked at him last night at the foot of the staircase, compassion mixed with yearning in her lovely violet eyes. As he’d stared at her he’d envisioned what it would be like to lay his burdens down temporarily and lie in Juliana’s arms, finding the peace and comfort only she could give him. To absorb the emotional sustenance she would bring, and rise strong, reenergized, ready to take up his burdens again. And even more, knowing she would be there always. That when he needed her, she would be there, just as he would be there for her when she needed him. Forever and a day.

He lay in his bed waiting for her—hot, hard and aching—until the moonbeams told him it was long past midnight. Until he realized she wasn’t coming to him that night. Maybe she never would. No, he told himself, pressing his lips sternly together against that defeatist attitude, turning over to find a cool spot on his pillow. She loves me. I know she loves me. And she will come to me...someday. Someday soon. She will come to me because she wants me the same way I want her. She will come to me.

But he was leaving Zakhar early tomorrow. A long-standing commitment to address the United Nations in New York, followed by a state visit with the President of the United States—neither of which could be rescheduled—meant his plane would depart long before Juliana awakened, and he’d be gone for a week. He’d already charged Zax with the task of personally ensuring nothing happened to her in his absence—a task Zax had accepted without demur—but leaving the country now was unfortunate timing. If Juliana were planning to come to him tomorrow night, or the night after, he wouldn’t be there. He had hoped—prayed—she would come to him tonight.

He touched his arousal, settling himself into a more comfortable position, cursing under his breath that he couldn’t control his reaction when he thought of her, couldn’t prevent the throbbing pulse of sexual desire that invaded his body...and his dreams. Now that Juliana was here...in Zakhar...in Drago...in his own palace, seeking release without her wasn’t an option. He would just have to suffer...and wait.