I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and taking hold of it, bringing it to my nose and inhaling deeply as I closed my eyes. God, she smelled so good. I didn’t want to ever wash these fucking sheets. I wanted to keep her scent on them forever, a constant reminder of what we’d done together.
I hoped she knew that she was mine, that I couldn’t walk away from her no matter what.
When she came back out a few minutes later, I reached out and pulled her down toward me. I knew she had to go, but I wanted her close. “Let me just hold you for a little bit longer.” She leaned back against me and I rested my chin on the top of her head, staring straight ahead and knowing we’d have our work cut out for us when this finally came out.
* * *
I wanted to wake up next to her very morning, to feel her warm, naked body pressed against mine. I wanted to burrow my face in her long dark hair, inhale the sweet, floral scent of it. And I wanted to take her again, to part her thighs and move between them, sliding my dick deep into her warmth.
She’d taken something from me last night, something I had freely—willingly—given her.
She’d taken my heart.
If I thought I’d been in love with her before, what we’d shared last night had something shifting in me. It had me falling in love with her all over again, harder, faster than even the first time.
I’d taken her home, dropped her off at the ass crack of dawn, thankful her father hadn’t been waiting up with a shotgun in hand. I’d hated that she couldn’t have stayed with me. I wanted her with me always, sleeping in my bed, waking up next to her, holding her as she opened her eyes and rested her head on my chest
And now that I as back at home, as I sat on my bed and stared out the window, watching as the sun rose, having been unable to go back to sleep, all I’d been able to picture were the things I wanted to do with her.
I wanted to share my life with her.
I wanted to wake up next to her every morning.
I wanted to tell Kennedy that there was no one else for me. Ever.
What we had shared was not meant to be a secret. It was meant to be shouted from the rooftops so every fucking person could hear, would know how much I loved her.
I didn’t want us to have to hide what we felt for each other. She loved me and I loved her, and there was nothing more powerful in this world than that. There was no one in this world who could take that away.
I wouldn’t allow it.
And if her father said we couldn’t be together, if my parents told me how wrong it was, well, I loved them, but they wouldn’t fuck this up for me. I wasn’t willing to give Kennedy up, so they could either accept it, or I’d walk away with her in my arms.
Shit. I scrubbed a hand over my face, feeling exhausted, which had nothing to do with not having slept all night, and everything to do with my mind running at full speed.
Maybe if I went and worked out, tried to get rid of this nervous energy, used that time to think, to sort out my thoughts, I’d figure out how to go about telling our family? I found that the hardest of all.
I didn’t care what anyone thought, even my family, but of course they needed to know. There was no hiding it, and although I would love for them to accept us and what Kennedy and I had together, their disapproval wasn’t a deal breaker. They’d have to live with this or they’d lose me in their life.
Easy as that.
* * *
I brought the bar up and down, up and down. Theo was spotting me, and I could see on his face he had a lot of questions about last night and the party … about how I’d reacted concerning Kennedy.
But he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, at least for the time being. I knew he was far too curious to not say anything for long, though.
I did a few more pumps with the bar before putting it back with Theo’s help. I sat up and breathed out roughly, bracing my forearms on my thighs and leaning forward. I was covered in sweat, but it felt good to work this all out of me.
I hated coming to the gym, hated seeing all the guys focused on working out while I was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with my love life.
This just wasn’t my place. I came here to stay healthy, to keep in shape. But mostly, I came here to think.