His face fell even more. "Yes. They caught her right after she shot you--before anyone else got hurt. She's detained, and more evidence has been coming in.'
"Calling her out was one of the hardest things I've ever done,' I said. "Fighting Strigoi was easier than that.'
"I know. It was hard for me to see, hard for me to believe.' There was a far-off look in his eyes, reminding me that Dimitri had known her longer than he'd known me. "But she made her choices, and all the charges against you have been dropped. You're a free woman now. More than that. A hero. Abe's bragging that it's all his doing.'
That brought my smile back. "Of course he is. I'll probably get a bill from him soon.' I felt dizzy with both joy and astonishment. A free woman. I'd been burdened with accusations and a death sentence for what felt like years, and now ... now it had all disappeared.
Dimitri laughed, and I wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of us, sweet and unguarded. Well--maybe not exactly this. I could've done without the pain and thick bandages I felt on my chest. He and I had had so few times alone, moments when we could really relax and openly acknowledge being in love. Things had only begun to mend between us at the end there ... and it had almost been too late. It might still be.
"So what now?' I asked.
"I'm not sure.' He rested his cheek against my forehead. "I'm just so glad ... so glad you're alive. I've been so close to losing you so many times. When I saw you on the floor, and there was so much commotion and confusion ... I felt so helpless. I realized you were right. We waste our lives with guilt and self-loathing. When you looked at me there at the end ... I saw it. You did love me.'
"You doubted?' I meant the words jokingly, but they came out sounding offended. Maybe I was, a little. I'd told him I loved him plenty of times.
"No. I mean, I knew then that you didn't just love me. I realized you really had forgiven me.'
"There was nothing to forgive, not really.' I'd told him that before too.
"I've always believed there was.' He pulled back and looked at me again. "And that's what was holding me back. No matter what you said, I just couldn't believe it ... couldn't believe you would forgive all the things I did to you in Siberia and after Lissa healed me. I thought you were deluding yourself.'
"Well. It wouldn't be the first time I've done that. But no, this time I wasn't.'
"I know, and with that revelation ... in that split second that I knew you forgave me and that I really had your love, I was finally able to forgive myself too. All those burdens, those ties to the past ... they went away. It was like ...'
"Being free? Flying?'
"Yes. Except ... it came too late. This sounds crazy, but while I was looking down at you, having all these thoughts coming together in my head, it was like ... like I could see death's hand reaching for you. And there was nothing I could do. I was powerless. I couldn't help.' "You did,' I told him. "The last things I saw before blacking out were you and Lissa.' Well, besides the skeletal faces, but mentioning that would have killed this romantic moment. "I don't know how I survived getting shot, how I beat the odds ... but I'm pretty sure your love--both of you--gave me the strength to fight through. I had to get back to you guys. God only knows what trouble you'd get into without me.'
Dimitri had no words for that and answered instead by bringing his mouth to mine. We kissed, lightly at first, and the sweetness of the moment overpowered any pain I felt. The intensity had just barely picked up when he pulled away.
"Hey, what gives?' I asked.
"You're still recovering,' he chastised. "You might think you're back to normal, but you aren't.'
"This is normal for me. And you know, I thought with all this freedom and self- discovery and expression of our love stuff that we could finally stop with the whole Zen master wisdom and practical advice crap.'
This got me an outright grin. "Roza, that's not going to happen. Take it or leave it.'
I pressed a kiss to his lips. "If it means getting you, I'll take it.' I wanted to kiss him again and prove who really did have greater self-control, but that damned thing called reality set in. "Dimitri ... for real, what happens to us?'
"Life,' he said easily. "It goes on. We go on. We're guardians. We protect and maybe change our world.'
"No pressure,' I remarked. "But what's the "we' and "guardians' part? I was pretty sure we were out of that career path.'
"Mmm.' He cupped my face, and I thought he might try another kiss. I hoped he would. "Along with our pardons, we received our guardian status again.'
"Even you? They believe you're not a Strigoi?' I exclaimed.
He nodded.
"Huh. Even if I got my name cleared, my ideal future was that we'd get filing jobs near each other.'
Dimitri moved closer to me, his eyes sparkling with a secret. "It gets better: you're Lissa's guardian.'
"What?' I almost pulled away. "That's impossible. They'd never ...'
"They did. She'll have others, so they probably figured it was okay to let you hang around if someone else could keep you in line,' he teased.
"You're not ...' A lump formed in my stomach, a reminder of a problem that had plagued us so long ago. "You're not one of her guardians too, are you?' It had constantly been a concern, that conflict of interest. I wanted him near me. Always. But how could we watch Lissa and put her safety first if we were worried about each other? The past was returning to torment us.
"No, I have a different assignment.'
"Oh.' For some reason, that made me a little sad too, even though I knew it was the smarter choice.
"I'm Christian's guardian.'
This time I did sit up, doctor's orders or no. Stitches tugged in my chest, but I ignored the sharp discomfort. "But that's ... that's practically the same thing!' Dimitri sat up too and seemed to be enjoying my shock, which was really kind of cruel, seeing as I'd almost died and everything. "A little. But they won't be together every moment, especially with her going to Lehigh. He's not going ... but they'll keep coming back to each other. And when they do, so will we. It's a good mix. Besides ...' He grew serious again. "I think you've proved to everyone that you're willing to put her life first.'
I shook my head. "Yeah, but no one was shooting at you. Only her.' I said it lightly, but it did make me wonder: what would I do if they were both in trouble?Trust him, a voice in my head said. Trust him to take care of himself. He'll do the same for you. I eyed Dimitri, recalling a shadow in my periphery back in the ballroom. "You followed when I jumped in front of Lissa, didn't you? Who were you going for? Me or her?'