Either way I felt like shit and just wanted to get home.
I had one hand on the steering wheel, and took my other hand to rub an eye, feeling like there was sand in it, this grittiness that was from sleep deprivation and exhaustion and just feeling like I was dead on my feet.
As soon as I would get home, I thought about not even bothering to take off my scrubs, although I probably should. They were wrinkled and smelled of antiseptic, a sickly scent that took days to leave my nose.
All I thought about was how good my bed would feel, warm and soft and calling my name.
I shouldn’t have agreed to stay an extra shift at the community hospital, not if I was smart. But when Dr. Harris asked something of you, it was hard not to agree, not only because he was charming, but because if he wanted your help, it meant he respected what you did.
Franklin Township Community Hospital was perpetually short-staffed, and because I did have a caring heart and was a charge nurse, declining to stay put me in a bad spot and made me look less than dedicated.
It also made me feel like a piece of shit.
I was dedicated. I loved my job, loved the people I was able to take care of, watch over, and heal. But being an ER nurse meant I saw a lot of bodies come and go, some to another floor in the hospital so they could finish healing, others to the morgue. The latter was depressing. But I’d grown this thick skin over the years and was now able to put away that despair I felt when someone passed on my watch to the very depths of my body so it didn’t affect me in that moment.
“Shit,” I muttered, as the weather was turning to crap with each passing second. It was downpouring, this insane storm that made it nearly impossible to drive through. It was like I was navigating through water, dark and murky, my headlights not even penetrating a foot in front of me.
Maybe I should have pulled over and waited for it to subside a little, but hey, I just wanted to get home.
I slowed as I went to take a turn, the roads slick, my hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. I sat up straighter in the seat and leaned forward to try to see the road better.
“Dammit,” I muttered as another turn came up, my car slightly hydroplaning when I pressed on the brake. “Shit.” My heart was racing as I righted the car. “Screw this,” I whispered as I pulled off to the side of the road to wait out the storm. I was not made for this type of weather, and sure as hell not drive in it.
After I had my car in Park and put the hazards on, I rested my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. The rain was starting to turn to snow, this slushy mixture that would no doubt turn to ice. The winter weather was so damn unpredictable this time of year.
The wind howled outside of the car, this banshee screech that was terrifying as much as it was annoying. I didn’t even know if the storm would let up, but I’d rather sit here and wait it out for however long it took than try and navigate the twisting roads.
I lifted my head and opened my eyes, about to turn the radio on, when the faint glow of what I swore were headlights came through a break in the storm. But the light was gone as fast as it had come when the slush in the air intensified.
I leaned forward even more and squinted my eyes as if that would make my vision clearer or somehow make the storm subside, even then I couldn’t verify if I’d actually seen a car. It was a long second when I saw nothing but murky whiteness from the storm. I was about to rest my head back in the seat again when the lights came through once more.
“What the hell?” They were definitely headlights from a vehicle, but they were lopsided. It was then I realized a car had gone off the side of the road. Instantly, my heart raced, and adrenaline rushed through my veins. Someone could be hurt. Someone definitely needed help.
I adjusted my jacket, so it was zipped all the way up, and had my hood over my head. I leaned over and opened the glove box, rifling through papers until I found the small flashlight I kept in there. After making sure the batteries still worked in the damn thing, I shoved that and my cell in my pocket and took a deep breath. I needed to prepare myself for a second before I braved this weather.