Sarah loved the way Angel touched her with such urgency. The way he never even tried to hide his need to feel her, taste her. They'd done things lately that were getting awfully close to the real deal.
Because of the circumstances in which Sarah had been born, and all that her mom had gone through, the birds and the bees talk had come early for Sarah. She was only eleven when her mom sat her down and told her everything. And ever since, she’d been hammering the importance of birth control and protection from disease, into Sarah’s head. She used herself as an example, reminding Sarah how one moment of weakness could bring enormous life changing consequences.
Her mom called that night, and after gushing about Angel for the umteenth time, her mom wasted no time getting right into the subject. “Sex is a huge responsibility,” she said. “You have to be prepared not only physically but emotionally.
Sarah became defensive immediately when her mom asked if Angel had been pressuring her in any way. “Of course not!” she snapped. “He’s not like that, mom.”
“Listen to me, Sarah.” She paused. “Trust me. I know how fast things can happen. And I can already tell you’ve really fallen for Angel. If I had it my way I’d tell you to abstain from having sex and everything would be just fine. But I’m not naive. I’ve already talked to your Aunt Norma about this. She’s taking you to get on birth control.”
Sarah was speechless. She knew how important it was to her mom that what happened to her didn’t happen to Sarah, but she wasn’t expecting this.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, I heard.”
“You’re going tomorrow.”
*
The next day, Sarah skipped track after school. She told Angel her aunt was picking her up because they were going out for her uncles’ birthday. It was partly true. Her aunt did pick her up and did accompany her to the clinic. And they did go to dinner after, which would come in handy if Angel asked her about the dinner. She wouldn’t have to fumble around trying to come up with more lies.
Sarah hadn’t realized how many forms of birth control were available until she got to the clinic. She decided the pill was the best choice for her. She had a pelvic exam and they gave her a prescription for the pill, along with reading material on safe sex and sexually transmitted diseases
She felt weasely about lying to Angel, but at least this lie was for a good reason. After thinking about it so much the night before, she decided it was a good thing. She wanted to surprise him. Besides, she had a feeling he’d find it in his heart to forgive her once he knew the truth.
*
Almost three weeks later Sarah stood in front of the mirror. Somehow she thought she’d look or feel different. But after examining herself everything seemed the same. And she didn’t feel any more mature than before like she’d imagined.
She got in bed but couldn’t sleep, too much on her mind. So much had changed in just a matter of months. Just a few months ago the only thing she could think about was her mom and getting back home. Now here she was utterly consumed with the fact that she was so close to losing her virginity to Angel. She smiled, inhaling deeply. The thought alone was enough to arouse her.
She hadn’t told anyone about getting on the pill yet. Her aunt told her it was her business and she wouldn’t be telling anyone, not even Valerie. She was glad. She wanted Angel to be the first to know. She hadn’t even told Sydney.
Sydney. She winced just thinking about him. She still hadn’t told Angel the truth. Valerie had been right again. The longer she was with him the harder it got. At this point Angel’s unwillingness to share anything about her with anyone was irrefutable. As far as he was concerned he was her best friend now.
Still, she thought if she had only told him sooner. Things had gone from bad to worse. She was more worried now about how he would feel knowing that she’d deceived him all this time, than what he’d think about Syd being a guy.
After Sydney’s accident, she’d gone out of her way to avoid the subject of him altogether. She even made a point of putting her cell phone on vibrate, whenever she was with Angel, afraid even a phone call would solicit conversation about her.
She might have gone a little overboard killing off Syd though, because just the other day Angel had asked, 'So, what’s up with Sydney? You still talk to her?'
She’d just shrugged and said, “Yeah, sometimes.”
Since that first night Angel had kissed her, they hadn’t gone a day without seeing each other. The more time she spent with him the more she couldn’t imagine leaving him.
But how could she do that to Sydney. They’d made a pact. He’d already questioned her a few days ago if she really thought she could go back to Arizona and leave Angel behind. She assured him she could and would. But in her heart she knew if she didn’t feel so obligated to Sydney and his family she’d stay without question.
The following day he called her to tell her he needed to talk to her in person. That worried her because Sydney knew her better than anyone. He would see right through her.
The calls with Sydney were cut shorter, but she still talked to him daily. Tonight however had been a long call. Their conversation had been a strange one. They debated on whether or not she should go back to Arizona. Sydney insisting she should stay. Sarah knew what a selfless sweetheart Sydney was and that he would put aside his own happiness for hers.
All those years he spent in her miserable life keeping her company when he could’ve been out having fun with others. His parents had money that allowed him to do the things other kids did. He could’ve gone to camp in the summers, to his grandparents skiing for the holidays in Colorado, or anywhere he wanted over spring break. But no, all those years he chose her. He stayed and kept her company.