“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she said. “Stop worrying about it, Syd. Everything will be just like before. It’ll be like I never left.”
After she hung up and went to the restroom. She thought of the day ahead of her. Ever since the night she’d given herself to Angel, and they’d agreed to continue the relationship even after she went back to Arizona, she’d been riddled with guilt. She had to tell Angel the truth about Sydney and she almost had that same night. But she chickened out, not wanting to ruin the night. Sarah shook her head remembering how she’d shamelessly used her mom to change the subject.
Ever since, she’d made one excuse after another to not tell him. But she wouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of telling Angel she loved him, until she came clean and told him the truth. And not being able to say it was killing her.
It was going to be tense, but if he really loved her like he said he did, he’d understand. She fell back asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow again. Being an early bird, it startled her when her phone rang again and she realized she’d slept for almost three more hours. It was Angel this time.
“Hello?”
“Hey, babe, did I wake you?”
“Mmmm.” She stretched her arms out. “Yeah, but it’s nice that it’s your voice I’m hearing.”
“Don’t make that noise, Sarah,” he said. “It’s gonna drive me crazy all day, until I can be with you.”
“All day? Aren’t you picking me up early?”
“No, babe. We’re short staffed today. It’s so bad, me and Sofi got stuck dropping off the morning catering, and then we gotta go back to the restaurant. I won’t be able to pick you up 'til at least seven tonight.”
“Hi, Sarah!” She heard Sofia in the back.
Sarah frowned, upset with herself that she’d slept so late. She could’ve helped them with the catering. “You need me to help in any way?”
“Nah, Eric’s gonna help out. We’re picking him up right now.” His voice got lower.” Besides, I kept you up late enough last night. I want you to rest up for me, for tonight.”
Sarah beamed. Who needed rest? Her entire body felt great. She was ready for him now.
“I hope you’re rested,” she said. “Because I’m ready now.”
“Stop it,” he whispered. “Shit, if I can get off earlier than seven, I’ll call you so be ready.”
“Okay.” She giggled.
“I love you, babe.”
She felt her heart being held hostage, unable to say what she wanted so badly. “Okay, bye.”
That's it. She absolutely was telling him everything tonight. Sarah dreaded it with every ounce of trepidation in her body, but she had to. She couldn’t go even one more day without telling him how much she loved him.
Deciding that as long as she was coming clean, she’d also let Sydney in on the whole convoluted lie as well. Maybe he’d have some advice on how best to break it to Angel. She tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail. She left a brief message only to say she needed to speak with him and was free of Angel for the day, so he could call her anytime.
The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and going over what she’d say to Angel. There was no backing down this time. She rehearsed it over and over again. Every time she looked at the clock, the knot in her stomach got bigger and heavier. She tried calling Sydney a few more times, but each time was sent to voicemail.
He’ll understand, she kept telling herself. He had to. She’d make him, and once she told him how much she loved him, he’d know he had nothing to worry about.
Sarah was looking through her closet when she heard, “Hey, you,” and jumped, almost losing her balance. She turned and saw Valerie standing there with a smirk. “What’s with you?”
Sarah closed her eyes and put her hand on her chest. “God, I’ve been so nervous all day, I’m a mess.”
“About what?" Valerie walked in and sat down on Sarah’s bed.
Sarah slumped her shoulders. “I’m telling Angel tonight.”
“Telling him what?”
“About Syd.”
Valerie eyes opened wide. “He still doesn’t know?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. Valerie always had a way of making her feel worse, especially about this. “No, but he’ll know tonight for sure. No buts about it. I’m telling him.” She turned back around to look in her closet. “I’m just not sure where to start.”
“Well, expect the worse.”
Sarah spun around and shot her a look. “Gee, thanks. That helps.”
Valerie shrugged. “I’m just saying, he’s gonna be pissed, Sarah. You know he is. Shit, his brother still had the nerve to tell me he didn’t like me talking to Reggie. I’m not even seeing him anymore, and he was never my boyfriend to begin with, but Angel has it bad. And he has a little more right to feel like you’re his, all his. He is not gonna be happy about you going back to Sydney, your guy friend.”
“I have to tell him though,” Sarah said.
“Yeah, and you should,” Valerie said. “Have you thought about what you’re gonna say?”
“All freakin day.” Sarah plopped down on her desk chair.
“Maybe you should dress up really nice,” Valerie said. “You know, do yourself up really good, extra sexy. The distraction might make him a little softer, less mad.”