Getting there would prove otherwise. They got stuck in Saturday night traffic. It seemed everyone was out that night. She sunk in her seat several times when she thought she saw people from school. Guys from the football team even.
When they finally got to the beach, Sydney dropped a bomb. She’d been expecting something big since he’d driven all the way out here, but she was still shocked and upset when she heard it.
“Lynni.” He started. “I should’ve told you this a long time ago.”
Sarah braced herself. As long as he wasn’t sick she could take anything else. “What?”
“Remember Carina Santiago?”
Sarah thought for a moment, “The girl in orchestra who plays the cello?”
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Well, just before you left, me and her started talking, a lot. We actually started seeing each other. But you were going through so much crap and stressing out cause of your moms problems that I didn’t want to tell you about it.”
Sarah shook her head. “Why?”
“C’mon, Lynn, you had so much stuff going on. Half the time you were almost sick with worry about your mom. How could I sit there and tell you about how good things were going for me? It didn’t feel right, and even after you left, you were so miserable, and that’s when everything really started to happen for me and Carina. I couldn’t do it.”
Sarah stared at him, almost sick to her stomach, feeling so self-centered. All this time she’d been going on and on about having to be there for Sydney and now she was finding out that she’d been too busy wallowing in her own crap to listen to him. He’d been there for her, and through it all he’d kept his own feelings to himself; never once able to share his own anxieties or excitement about his own brand new relationship. Unless he’d kept anything else from her before this, Sarah knew very well this was a first for him too.
“Oh, Sydney. I’m so sorry.” She hugged him tight.
He pulled back gently. “What are you talking about? I’m the one that kept it all from you.”
“Yeah, but you did it for me, because I was such a whiny useless wimp. I dumped all my crap on you, time and time again, and never once thought about how hard it must be for you.”
Without warning the tears came in mass. She felt terrible, but when her eyes met his, he looked mad. “Don’t you dare do this, Lynn.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks. But spoke firmly. “You’ve been the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. You think I’ll ever forget what you did for me? If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have made it through middle school. I was the fattest, laziest piece of -”
“No, you weren’t.” She stopped him, infuriated.
“I was, Lynni. But you were the only one that didn’t think so. And just like right now, you were ready to kick some ass if anyone ever made me feel like I was.”
“That’s because I’ve always known what a beautiful person you are, Sydney. They didn’t know you like I did.”
“And I’ll never forget that about you. But I keep hearing you talk about how much you owe me. You don’t owe me shit. You got me through the roughest years of my life. If anything I owe you big time. If it hadn’t been for you I might have shot myself.”
She stared at him stunned.
“It’s true, Lynn. I’m ashamed to admit it but there were times I was thankful that things weren’t perfect for you, because I knew if your life had been just an inch more normal, maybe you wouldn’t need me so much.”
“How can you say that?” The tears burned in her eyes. “I would never turn my back on you.”
“I know that,” he said. “That’s why I’m here. You have to stay, Lynn. You belong with Angel, just like I belong with Carina. Why do you think I accepted the scholarship to Columbia?”
Sarah stared at him blankly.
“She’s going there,” he said. “It’s been killing me, because I know you want to stay here with Angel. It’s where you should be. If you came back to Arizona just because you felt you couldn’t turn your back on me. How am I gonna feel when I leave for Columbia? What if because you insisted on coming back to Arizona you lose Angel, and you’re on your own? How am I supposed to live with that? I’ll drop out of school Lynn. I swear to God. I’ll lose Carina before I abandon you.”
“No!” Sarah gasped.
“Then stay here, Lynn,” he said. “Stop being so damn stubborn, and tell him you love him, already. Stay here and be happy. He looked deep in her eyes “Me and you, nothing will ever break us apart, not anyone, not any distance.”
Sarah smiled, feeling her heart swell a million times over. “This is why I love you so much, Sydney.”
“I love you too.”
Sarah hugged him tightly. Then they hung out for about another hour, with Sarah insisting he tell her all about Carina. Sydney didn’t hesitate telling her everything. To Sarah’s shock they’d been intimate for some time now. Sarah tried to shake the guilt off. He should’ve been able to share that with her. She knew it was huge. Then he hit her with yet another surprise. “She doesn’t know I’m here with you.”
“What?”
“Everyone at school knew how tight we were, Lynn. She did too. When we started going out she was incredibly insecure about you. You’re a pretty rough subject with us, but I’m trying to get her to understand. It’s too soon though, and I know if she knew I drove all the way down here to see you, it’d be over.”