Breaking Him (Love is War 1)

That had us both smirking, though mine died as soon as I saw his.

His mother was a crazy harpy, so much so we’d always just naturally united against her.  Well, back in the day we had.

Nowadays there wasn’t a cause on earth righteous enough to unite us.

“Same as ever,” he replied.  “Crazy as shit, and evil as Satan.”

I didn’t ask about his gram.  I didn’t need to.  We still talked every week.  She was the only reminder I had of him that was worth keeping in my life.

Everything else I’d left behind.

“How’s that director you were seeing?” he asked me, his mouth shaping into a grin that made me want to slap him.

He was mocking me, yet again.  I had been seeing a director, no one terribly famous, but one that was successful enough.  It’d been more of a friendship behind the scenes, holding hands for the camera sort of thing.

He’d just come out of the closet publicly.

To say that I was not happy to know that it’d amused Dante was a vast understatement.

What I hated, more than anything, was to be the butt of someone’s joke.  Especially his.

I have a terrible temper.  Even I am scared of it.  And that famously destructive temper came out to play.

It was just as well.

The more I hurt Dante now, the better chance I had of getting rid of him.

I didn’t know why he’d come, and I didn’t want to.

No reason was good enough to drudge up all of these old, filthy feelings.

What I wanted to do—what I needed to do—was scare him off.

I smiled at him.  My most vicious smile.

The one that cut him deep enough that we were both covered in the blood.

Saturated and dripping with it.

“How’s Nate doing?” I asked him, the words doled out slowly for better effect.

A wise person once said that in a relationship you should keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

I don’t do that.  Neither does Dante.  We never have.

We do everything dirty.  And I’d just taken the dirtiest jab of all.

Left hook.  I felt it right in my own gut.  That’s how I knew it was a solid hit.

He stopped smiling, stopped looking at me, his head dropping, eyes aimed down at his feet.  “Are you even sorry for what happened with him?”  The question came out of him with excruciating restraint.  Softly and slowly, each word drawn out.

I was.  Wrenchingly so.  Kept me awake at night sorry.

Have you ever chewed up someone’s heart and then spit it out?

Doesn’t sound too bad?  Maybe thinking this person is your worst enemy?

But what if it wasn’t?  What if it was one of your dearest friends?  Someone who worshipped the ground you walked on unconditionally.

I’d always had a gift for the irrevocable, and what I’d done to Dante’s best friend, Nate, had been just that.

But I’d die before I admitted it to him.

“Does he miss me?” I asked instead.

God, that one was so bitchy even I felt the sting of it.

Dante took a very deep breath and straightened.  He squared his jaw and stared me down.  “Can we call a truce for the night?  We really do need to talk.  And not here.  Somewhere private.”

“I’ve heard that one before,” I drawled back.  “This wouldn’t be the most elaborate thing you’ve ever tried just to get me into bed.”

His face turned hard with disdain.  “Trust me, that is not why I’m here.”

Another, even stronger, flash of temper curled through me, urging me towards destruction.

It was almost funny how we could set each other off with just a few words, the wrong look, the incorrect tone.

We were landmines for each other, and he’d just stepped squarely onto one of mine.

Any show of indifference from him, be it fraudulent or fair, was unbearable to me.

Boom.  Explosion.

I felt moved by two overwhelming urges in equal parts.

I wanted to slap him silly and fuck him blind.

I restrained myself from doing the first with no small effort.

But I actually considered doing the second.  Only for the most twisted reasons, of course.

I was gaging things, trying to decide which action on my part would be more hurtful to him.

Because I wanted to hurt him.

As usual, I wanted to make him bleed.

And of all the things you could say about us, about how he felt about me, and how I felt about him, each of us knew that going to bed together again would hurt us both.

A double-edged sword.

I’d take my licks, I decided.  It’d be worth it to inflict a bit on him.

It was a sad, tragic fact that I’d take three times my share of the damage just to give him his third of it.

“Fine,” I said curtly, barely looking at him.  “Let’s go somewhere.  Where are you staying?  Take me to your hotel room.”

He nodded jerkily.  “That works.”

“Let me say goodbye to my friends.  You stay here.”

“You aren’t going to introduce me?” he asked my back.

“Fuck you,” I said casually, and strode away.

“You’re going somewhere with The Bastard?” Demi asked, sounding scandalized.  She didn’t know the whole story, but she knew enough.  “But I thought you hated him.”

“Oh I do.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Leona asked, her eyes on Dante.

“I’m a big girl.  I got this.”

None of them tried to stop me.  They all knew me too well to even think of getting in my way when I was in this mood.