When I hear her laugh, I look up to see a smile on her face.
“Neil, I know,” she says, and her eyes are soft and sweet.
“You know? How?” Guilt rips through me. She knew I was married to someone else and she’s laughing. If the roles were reversed I would have burned the world down.
She looks at the fire and tells me the story of how she went with Vance to get an engagement ring. Then she tells me what happened that day and how she had to be put into the witness protection program. I try to understand why she would have chosen to leave us, but then I remember what a kind and loving heart she has. She would have seen our son get shot trying to protect her and she would have wanted to make sure that those who did it were never allowed to hurt anyone else again.
I sit there and listen to her tell me of her sacrifice, and it’s a knife in the heart. I know that while she was doing this I betrayed her at the same time. Her story makes me feel even lower. I don’t deserve her. She cries as she tells me about Vance and the physical therapy he went through while they were gone.
She takes a tissue out of her pocket and wipes away the tears.
“Not long after we were pronounced dead they came to me and said you were getting remarried.”
“Ariel, my love, it wasn’t like that.” She holds up her hand to stop me, and I do.
“I knew when I was five years old that you were the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We’ve been together nearly sixty years.” She gives me a soft smile. “When they told me you got married I laughed. Not because I didn’t believe them. But because all I could think was that you probably did it to save someone or help someone. You would have never done it out of love. I knew in my soul that I was the only woman you ever loved. And it would stay that way until you died. I never doubted that.”
I’m amazed at her strength and in this moment, I know that no matter how I live the rest of my life, I’ll never be good enough for her. But I’m selfish enough to never ever let her go.
“I never loved her. The woman I married, Autumn’s mother, I only did it because I knew Autumn and Hunter were meant to be. I never touched her,” I say, pleading with her. “I know you might not believe that, but I didn’t. The thought of touching another woman made me physically sick.”
Ariel nods and smiles like she knew this all along. Her dark gray hair falls over one shoulder and her blue eyes sparkle in the firelight. She’s never looked more beautiful than she does in this moment.
“I don’t trust myself to touch you. I know if I do, I won’t be able to stop. It’s all I can do now to sit here and talk when all I want to do is take you to the floor and make love.”
“Neil, I’ve been without you for nearly five years. I don’t think now is the time for you to hold back.”
Without thought and without a care in the world, I lunge for her, pushing her down on the couch and climbing on top of her. My lips connect with hers, and every reason I had for not touching her sooner flies out the window.
When my arms wrap around her body, it’s as if I’m finally home. My heart and my soul are right where they should be. Connected to her.
I’ve spent my existence loving one woman, and nothing will ever change that. Not now, not in the future, and certainly not in death.
Epilogue
Ariel
One year later…Christmas morning
We’ve been opening presents all morning and the kids are squealing with delight. I made breakfast with Holly and Autumn this morning while the boys took care of the kids. We’re all full and happy as we sit by the fire and watch the snow outside.
“Oh, it looks like there’s a present we forgot to open,” Hunter says as he reaches in the far back corner behind the tree and pulls out a big box.
“That’s strange. I thought I got them all out,” I say and look to Neil who just shrugs.
“It says To Mom and Dad, from Santa,” Vance says as he looks at the label and passes it to us.
Neil takes the box and places it in my lap. I shrug and untie the big red ribbon. When I lift the lid, there’s tons of tissue inside, and I have to push it out of the way to see what’s in the bottom.