“Basically. Has Luke not told you that we conceived him on our first date?”
Jessica’s jaw dropped then closed into a grin, eyes wide. “No.”
“Yes. And now what I’m going to say is being said to Louise, not Luke’s girlfriend.”
“God, I love you. Go on.” Louise laughed.
“Luke doesn’t know this and I’m quite certain he wouldn’t be treating this car like his most prized possession if he knew that his conception took place in this very back seat.”
“Oh my God … Oh my God … Oh. My. God. Do you have any idea what you have given me?”
“No.” Felicity shook her head. “I’ve given you nothing. Thelma told her partner in crime, Louise, about the first time she had sex.”
“Aahh!” Jessica veered off the road onto the shoulder, coming to a stop. She couldn’t focus on driving anymore. “Don’t you dare try to silence me with some secrecy oath, especially since you just added the crème de la crème to the juiciest little secret I’ve ever known—you didn’t just conceive Luke. You. Lost. Your. Virginity … in this very car. Luke’s baby.”
Dying. Jessica died a little inside. It would be the most painful secret ever to keep, and as much as she’d come to love his mom … she just couldn’t guarantee that the day wouldn’t come that she would need that ammunition to win a war.
“Seriously, we should like … bronze the back seat and never allow anyone to sit back there again.”
Felicity looked over her shoulder and smiled as if she were replaying the memories in her mind. Jessica found it sweet and romantic. Luke would have had his head out the door hurling his last meal.
“Do you think about having children someday?”
The conversation took a whiplash turn.
Jillian pulled back onto the road. Running the GTO through the gears made her feel in control and eased her nerves.
“Sometimes. I didn’t used to so much before I met Luke. And when I did, it was more like mourning something I would never have.”
“You were his patient?”
Of course she didn’t know for sure. Luke would never break that confidentiality … except with her parents. Traitor.
“I was. I’m not now. Well…” she shrugged “…not officially. He’s brilliant, he really is, but I’m an extra special, pardon my French, fucked-up case. I’m not sure anyone could ‘cure’ me. I want to believe I’m better, but I’m afraid I’m better with Luke, not necessarily because of him. He’s even said it himself. If tomorrow he were to just disappear from my life, I wonder if the woman I’ve become with him would still exist, or if I would slip back to the woman I was before him.”
“Can I ask who you were before him?”
Jessica huffed a small laugh. “I’d tell Thelma I was a monster, but I think that might frighten Luke’s mom so I will tell her that I was simply a woman afraid of herself. A woman who longed for this exact moment in time, but never felt worthy of a future beyond work and physical exhaustion.”
They continued to drive. Jessica knew Felicity needed to get back for the guests who were staying at their bed and breakfast, but Felicity never said a word. She let Jessica have her drive, her moment of quietude with the comfort of knowing she wasn’t alone. Jessica loved the same thing about Luke. They could be together and feel the closeness without the need to fill the space with words. They could spend hours in bed or on the couch at night with her on her laptop studying and him reading or working on a crossword puzzle. Sometimes they’d share a flirty smile, but it was never awkward or boring.
Only in complete silence can the whisper of true love be heard.
Felicity rested her hand on Jessica’s arm as they pulled into the drive over an hour after leaving Luke in a world of dismay. “My son is a smart boy.”
Jessica stared at Felicity’s hand on her arm. “I don’t think his brain is responsible for us being together.”
“That’s why I said he’s a smart boy. He’s following his heart.”
Jessica looked up at Felicity’s loving smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.
*
Luke and Tom were out back chopping wood. Jessica gazed out the window to determine if Luke was mad or if the pained expression on his face was from physical exertion.
“Tom’s always smiling.”
Felicity started cleaning potatoes for dinner. “Most of the time, yes.”
“Chopping wood is not easy work, but Tom is sweating with a smile on his face.”
“He loves working. If he ever stops that’s how we’ll know he’s dead.”
“Can I help you with dinner?”
“You could go ask Tom if he’s grilling or if I’m broiling tonight.”
Jessica could do that. It didn’t require any preparation or actual cooking. “No problem. Of course I risk getting the ax for the grand theft auto.”