“Don’t give me that look.”
He didn’t have his eyes open. How could he know what look she gave him?
“You found another lover. You gave him your heart and he died, taking a part of you with him. Dr. Jones needs more than a memory to keep him warm at night. You could have chosen him, but you left him behind. I told him as much. He needs to be angry and pissed at you to move on.”
“I didn’t give AJ my heart. I didn’t have a heart left to give him.” Her words lacked conviction, in spite of her intent to mean them, in spite of wishing they were true.
“I moved heaven and earth for you in your last-ditch effort to save him. People don’t do that for a good fuck. He meant something to you.”
“Jude killed him, but you knew that, didn’t you? I’m sure you had your hand in covering it up … making it look like he died from the cancer and making sure his body made it back to Portland without suspicion.”
Knox smiled, eyes still shut. “Your brother is an unscrupulous lethal weapon. He takes lives without a blink of hesitation. That’s rare. Even your father and I battled with our consciences when aiming our guns at known killers, but not Jude. He was born to kill. But … something tells me he blinked more than once before taking Sergeant Monaghan’s life. He knew he was also killing a part of you. He killed AJ to save you.”
“Fuck you.”
“I know. Fuck me. Fuck Jackson. It doesn’t change anything.”
Irene brought Knox there to torture Jillian. She knew the emotional pain he could inflict would hurt her more than any kind of physical torture.
“He’s with someone. Her name is Charlie. She’s Lake’s physical therapist. My sources told me she’s smart, beautiful, and his family seems to adore her.”
Adore.
She didn’t begrudge Luke a single thing. Jillian wanted him to find happiness. Luke deserved a happily ever after more than she did. Of course imagining him with someone else filled her with pain, but Knox was right, Jackson was right … she chose to leave him behind. If she had it all to do over again, she would have made the same decision. Luke’s family needed him.
“I’m happy for him … for them.”
“Really?” Knox opened his eyes.
“I loved him enough to let him go.”
“How kind of you. I’m sure he doesn’t see it that way. I never took you for the if-you-love-something-set-it-free type.”
Questions whirled in her head. Had her mother let Knox go? Did he let her go? With her mother dead, would Jillian ever know the whole truth? Did she want to know the truth?
Chapter Nineteen
Jones
The unanswerable question. Where does one search for someone who doesn’t want to be found? For the safety of his family, Luke had to go through the motions of his life until the universe answered that question for him—until Jessica answered that question. He remained Dr. Jones by day, transforming into the man willing to risk his career and his own life to find her.
“Brother dearest?” Lake called, letting herself into Luke’s place.
He needed to confiscate her key.
“In my office.” He clicked out of his search screens and shut the top to his computer.
“Watching porn?”
He leaned back in his desk chair, resting his folded hands on his stomach.
“To what do I owe this unannounced visit?”
She eased into the leather chaise lounge in the corner of his office. “Nonsense. I announced myself when I opened the door.”
“You need to get enrolled in school again or find a job.”
“I have a job.”
“I mean a paying job, a forty-hours-a-week job.” Luke applauded his sister for volunteering to work with amputee children at the hospital, a position Charlie suggested, but it became her excuse to not reenroll in college after her accident. Their parents weren’t going to be able to support her living in San Francisco forever and Luke loved his sister, but he was not an enabler.
“Will you drive me home tomorrow to spend the weekend with Mom and Dad?”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? Mom and Dad want to see you, but they have guests and can’t come visit us.”
“I have somewhere I need to be.”
“Where?”
He gave her a pointed look. “Since when are you my keeper?”
“Since Jessica died and since you blew off Charlie.”
Sometimes he swore the woman before him was Jessica. Lake had a strong personality and spoke with uncensored words. Contumacious.
“I’m leaving town tomorrow.”
“For?”
“Research.”
“What are you researching?” Her eyes grew wide with expectancy.
Luke chuckled. “Stuff for something I’ll be presenting at a conference in the spring.”
“What’s the topic?” Lake’s relentlessness was unmatched.
“Life after death.”
“Really? Sounds intriguing.”
“Very. So let’s plan a trip home in a few weeks.”
“Christmas is in a few weeks.”
“Well there you go. Perfect timing.” Luke grinned.
Lake rolled her eyes. “Take me with you.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to be busy. I won’t have time to watch after you.”