*
Step Four: Be prepared to gently hold her in captivity until she snaps out of her inevitable conniption fit because realistically there is no way Step Three would ever fly.
Jackson balled his hands, the hands that wanted to hold her. Instead, he watched her sob, folded over on the floor. Gunner lay down next to her, resting his head next to hers.
“I was trained to defend—trained to kill. The people I killed had more blood on their hands than I did. I killed to save lives. I was a soldier in an unofficial army, and I was good at it. That was my life. I hated my mother. She cheated on my father. I hated my father for being so blind. I hated my sister just … just because I couldn’t tell her, and I needed to tell someone. Instead, I lived a very lonely life filled with random women, secret missions, and a family that lived a lie.”
“Stop …” Ryn continued to sob.
He hunched down beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“No! Stop!” She fought him.
He fell back against the wall, pinning her arms to her sides and her legs beneath his. Then he waited.
“Our parents were murdered, so we were in danger. There are two headstones with our names on them. We were supposed to be safe … miles away from our past with no one having any reason to look for us.”
At some point the body encased by his gave up its fight. He still held her tight, more for him than her.
“But our past found us. Luke and Lake came to find my sister—Jessica Day.”
Her body tensed again. Lake shared her brother’s fiancée’s first name, but not her last.
“Oh my God,” she whispered, slowly lifting her head.
He loosened his grip a fraction and released her legs from beneath his, allowing her to turn in his arms and face him.
“Jillian was going to marry Luke.”
“No. Jessica.”
“Same—”
Jackson shook his head. “Not the same person. Jessica loved Luke. Jillian loved AJ.”
“Who did Jude love?”
He paused before answering. “His sister.”
“And now?” Ryn sniffled.
“He doesn’t exist.”
“He existed the moment you told me his name.”
“He died.” His jaw clenched a little in spite of his effort to stay calm.
“I’m looking at him.”
He released her and stood. Taking a deep breath, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Believe me when I say Jude Day would not hold you in his arms or give a fuck about your feelings. What happened against your refrigerator would have happened in the bathroom of a bar and then it never would have happened again.”
She flinched.
He sighed, releasing enough anger to feel some regret. “I’m sorry. I love you. Jackson loves you.”
Ryn grabbed her bag and stood, Gunner heeled. “Well, I love Jude.”
“Don’t say that.” His voice hardened.
“It’s true.”
Jackson shook his head. “Why would you love someone you’ve never known?”
“Because he died so I could be with you.”
“Dying was the best thing that happened to him. He lived a miserable life.”
“I’m sorry.”
“The only thing I’m sorry about is what I have to go through to keep him in the grave. I don’t want that life back, but Luke and Lake showing up here … they’re trying to resurrect the dead.”
Ryn rubbed her temples.
“Headache?”
She nodded.
“Is forever too much to ask?”
Ryn chuckled in spite of the pain etched on her face. “For me? Of course not. But I think what you were trying to tell me earlier is that Maddie would have to come too, right?”
“No. She could stay as long as you don’t tell her anything, but …”
“But?”
On a slow blink he looked down. He didn’t want to see the expression on her face when she figured out what he meant.
“When Jillian and I left San Francisco, we knew we would never return, never see anyone from our previous life again.”
“Jackson, I can’t never see my daughter again.”
He nodded, still looking at his feet. “I know. That’s why there are only two options.”
“She can come too or?”
“Or you can stay.” He met her eyes again.
“And you?”
“If I stay, my life is in danger and so is everyone I know. I don’t have a choice. You do.”
“I don’t know if Maddie will go.”
“It doesn’t have to be a choice.”
“It does. She’s an adult with friends and school and …”
“Her father?”
“Oh my God …” She closed her eyes again and shook her head. “I didn’t even think about my parents. I would never see them again either, would I?”
Biting his lips together, he shook his head. “It’s only Saturday. You don’t have to decide until Monday. Take some time to think about it.”
“Time? Are you serious? Basically twenty-four hours. That’s what you’re giving me to make the biggest decision of my life … of my daughter’s life.”
Pulling her into his arms, he hugged her. The love thing hurt so damn bad.