My other hand crosses my body to cover my watch and, more specifically, the bracelet she’s eyeing.
“You’re not ready.”
I fiddle with the clasp. “It’s been nearly twenty years.”
“Tell that to the bracelet that you refuse to take off.”
“I take it off.”
“Have you gone a whole day without wearing it?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Well …” She opens the fridge and pulls out pitchers of iced tea and lemonade. “When you go twenty-four hours without wearing it or thinking about it … then you’re ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“That man who had his hand on your face like he thinks you’re the most precious thing in the world, second only to his daughter … and maybe his mother. I’m not sure yet.”
“Let me go back to my original statement—he’s leaving and I’m staying.”
“Is that why you’re still wearing the bracelet? Would you take it off if he were staying or if you thought you could pack up Gabe and follow them to Wisconsin?”
I start to say something but clamp my jaw shut and deflate a little because I’m not sure how to respond. My heart and brain aren’t in sync on this yet.
“It’s okay, Gracelyn. It’s not simple. Your decisions are no longer just about you. Nate’s decisions are not just about him. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be to develop and navigate a new relationship at your age, with Gabe new in your life and a new love interest living halfway across the country.” She starts washing the dishes, and I grab a towel to dry.
“Maybe he’s practice. Maybe he’s been brought into your life to help you let go a little more. I don’t really believe in your three-strike theory, your man ban.” She glances over at me and grins. “I think your heart will one day be ready to love another man the way you loved Brandon. Hearts are meant to beat and keep us alive. They’re also there to love, not sit on a shelf in timeout, or in your case, a strikeout. When the time is right, get back in the game and let that heart of yours fall in love again. Okay?”
It already has …
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Gabe and Morgan laugh and play like nothing happened earlier today. Kids don’t know the art of holding grudges quite as well as grown-ups.
They wait for the fireworks to start while eating brownies and ice cream. Mr. Hans and our dads sit on Nate’s deck and drink more beer. Mom and Shauna hang out inside, making a couple cups of decaf to have with their brownies.
I stand at the water’s edge in my bare feet, feeling mesmerized by the ebb and flow of the soft tide over my red painted toes.
“Walk with me?”
I turn toward Nate, pinning my blowing hair behind my ears while glancing past him. Nobody’s paying any attention to us. Mr. Hans and our dads are watching Gabe and Morgan.
“Yeah.” I smile and start walking down the beach.
Nate’s hand finds mine as the horizon morphs into beautiful shades of orange, red, and purple. “The secret … it’s the phone isn’t it?”
My head whips up, eyes wide.
He doesn’t look at me. His gaze tracks the miles of coastline before us. “I was walking past her room late one night, and something was glowing from under her sheet. She fell asleep with it in her bed, and the screen was lighting up with a notification from Hunter asking if I’d found out about the cellphone yet.”
“And you didn’t say anything …” I shake my head. “She’s a wreck. Scared to death to tell you. Why not put her out of her misery?”
“Just like you said, she needs to find the words to just be honest with me.”
“Oh my gosh!” I shove him. “You were listening to our conversation.”
He chuckles, his bare feet splashing into the water before correcting himself and taking my hand again. “Of course, I was listening. Knowledge is power.”
“And trust?”
He shakes his head. “Trust is fragile. You have to be careful with it. It’s easy to break someone’s trust, even if you love them. I’m not saying it’s not an important component of a relationship, but it can’t be everything. I was an ornery child, who occasionally got into fights and told many white lies. My parents didn’t always trust me, but they always loved me. They forgave my mistakes and my lies. You have to treat trust like modeling clay that can be broken and repaired a million times, not like a priceless vase that belonged to your dead grandmother.”
“So … Andy, the guy who cheated on me, should I have forgiven him and let him earn my trust back?”
Nate’s lips twist. “That’s not my question to answer. Trust is a leap of faith. I think if you wanted to trust him, if you wanted to believe the words from his mouth, then you would have given him a second chance. Here’s the thing … you have to love the person more than you hate the lie. There’s not a lie Morgan could tell me that I would hate more than I love her.”