Only Trick

“You’re welcome.” I roll back my shoulders and smile with confidence, looking at my menu. “Thank you for the mind-blowing orgasm in the supply closet.”

“Ah-hem.” Our waitress clears her throat.

Great, how’d I miss her sneaking up on us? I retain my cool smile in spite of the hot flash of embarrassment that races along my skin. Trick doesn’t flinch, with the exception of his lip twitch. Cocky bastard! I’m sure he’s thinking, “That’s right … I’m just that good.” I’m sure she’s thinking, “Could you demonstrate on me?” Her skin matches mine, so that’s exactly what she’s thinking.

“It was my pleasure.” He smirks, staring at his menu.

Oh hell! Kill me now!

I cannot believe he just said that in front of her.

“We’ll have the Top Shelf Guacamole, Camarones Escondidos, and Pescado Del Día. Thank you.” I grab Trick’s menu and shove it along with mine at our unsuspecting and completely flustered waitress.

She stumbles off. I’ll be amazed if she remembers our order.

“You ordered for me?” He leans forward with wide-eyed disbelief.

“Well, she wanted to take our order, but you were too busy flaunting your afternoon conquest so I ordered for the both of us.”

He leans back with a wry grin. “I was simply being polite and engaging in the conversation you started.”

“What happened to your face?”

“So we’re done talking about—”

“Yes, we are.” I sip my water. “Why did Grady beat the shit out of you?”

Trick smirks, staring at his silverware he’s adjusting. “It was a misunderstanding.”

“About?”

“He found something.” His eyes look up to meet mine, as if he’s daring me to go any further.

Drumming my fingers on the table, I sigh. “What did he find?”

His gaze falters in chagrin. “A couple grams of coke under a Buddha statue of mine.”

Don’t react. Don’t react. Don’t react. Oh shit, he’s still doing drugs!

“And?” I question in a neutral voice with just a hint of nervous tremble.

“And what?” He shrugs.

I could scream; he’s baiting me, waiting for my reaction as if there’s a right one versus a wrong one. I’m too old to play games, and I’m too young to get involved in this messed up shit. “And nothing, Trick. If you’re using again and want help, I’ll help you. If you don’t want help then I’m out of here. If you have an explanation outside of those two scenarios then now would be the right time to share it. If this is some test of my trust for you, then here’s the deal: I’ll trust you until you give me a reason not to.”

His head moves; it’s slight but I see him nod. “I’ve had it since I stopped going to NA. It’s just a reminder.” His lips twist into a smirk and then he lets out a small laugh. “I’ve had it for eight years and have never once been tempted to use it.”

“So Grady thought you were going to use it?”

He points to his now yellowish-brown bruises on his face. “I think the answer to that is yes.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him that you’ve had it all this time?”

“He knows.”

I lean forward, resting my arms on the table. “Then why did he think you were going to use it?”

He averts his eyes, scanning the restaurant as if he’s looking for the answer. “Because I had the bag on the counter just … staring at it when he came home.”

A pang of guilt mixed with pain hits me. “When?”

“When what?”

“When did this happen?”

“The morning after the party.” His eyes make a slow shift to mine.

I suck in my lips to contain the anger. “You mean the morning after we had sex for the first time—the morning you left me.” I laugh, closing my eyes for a brief moment. “Unbelievable. You considered reverting back to a life-threatening addiction after one night with me. God! That makes me feel …” I shrug my shoulders and blink back the tears.

“Special.” He reaches across the table, taking both of my hands.

“Yeah, Trick. That’s some real special stuff!”

“I was getting rid of it.”

I try to pull away. “Sure, up your fucking nose because of your aversion to women.”

He grips me tighter, not caring if anyone around us is watching. “No!” He grits his teeth. “Because I no longer need a reminder of where I’ve been … I have you to remind me of where I’m going, and when I’m with you I don’t ever want to look back.”

I glare at him, feeling overwhelmed by his confession and still a little pissed off about something. “Then why did you let him make such a mess of your face?”

Trick releases my hands and sits back with an indifferent grin smeared across his face. “I felt like shit for the lie I let you believe and for leaving you that morning while I sorted myself out. So I figured I deserved it, even if not for the drugs.”